Trying to cheer myself up

Little humor for the day.  I hate feeling sad  :-(((  which is what I feel today 

Bad day at Hallmark




Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........









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My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat



When I looked at the tire...



I noticed your cat.



Sorry!











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Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.



But don't fret about it...



She moved in with me.













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Looking back over the years



that we've been together,



I can't help but wonder...



'What the hell was I thinking?'













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Congratulations on your wedding day!



Too bad no one likes your husband.













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How could two people as beautiful as you



Have such an ugly baby?













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I've always wanted to have

someone to hold,



someone to love.



After having met you ..



I've changed my mind.













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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.



I never believed in Hell until I met you.













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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...



That you're not here to ruin it for me.













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Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...



Would you like to take this knife out of my back?



You'll probably need it again.













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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!



(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )









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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.



Almost Lifelike!









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When we were together,

you always said you'd die for me.



Now that we've broken up,



I think it's time you kept your promise...









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We have been friends for a very long time .



let's say we stop?









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I'm so miserable without you



it's almost like you're here.









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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.



Did you ever find out who the father was?









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Your friends and I wanted to do



something special for your birthday.



So we're having you put to sleep.









))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))





So your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.



Look at the bright side,



it's really good pay