**It drives narcissists crazy that you don't immediately "get over" the hurt they caused, or that you bring it up and hold them accountable, until or unless there is some sort of resolve or remorse shown.** They expect their words, actions, and betrayals to be dismissed without consequence, as if your heart is something they can damage freely with no responsibility attached. They believe that once the moment has passed, the issue should vanish with it—your pain, your disappointment, your anger—all erased simply because they don’t want to face it. 

In their world, they are above accountability. They will call you “too sensitive,” “petty,” or “obsessed” for bringing up the very harm they inflicted. They minimize, deflect, and mock your pain because in their minds, your feelings don’t matter. What matters is preserving their image, their ego, and their ability to keep control over you. When you refuse to just “move on,” they see it as disobedience, as though you’re breaking an unspoken rule: **never challenge a narcissist.**

But here’s the hypocrisy—when the roles are reversed, they don’t just move on. If you hurt or disappoint them, they will hold onto it for months, years, or even a lifetime. They will replay it, exaggerate it, and use it as a weapon against you every time it benefits them. Their wounds are permanent, but yours are invalidated. This is the essence of the narcissist’s double standard: *they are allowed to feel, to react, to lash out, to demand apologies and explanations—but you are expected to stay silent, forgive instantly, and pretend nothing happened.*

This imbalance is not only unfair—it is abusive. It conditions you to swallow your truth, to silence your own needs, and to feel guilty for having normal human emotions. But the truth is that your hurt is real, and your need for acknowledgment is valid. Healing only happens when there is honesty, accountability, and repair. A narcissist will never give you that, because admitting fault threatens the false image they depend on.

**So remember this: you are not “wrong” for not getting over it. You are not weak for needing closure. What drives them crazy is not your pain—it’s your refusal to let them erase it.**