**Narcissists feel entitled to treat you however they want.** They believe that rules, respect, and basic decency apply to everyone else but not to them. In their mind, they have a free pass to say what they want, do what they want, and hurt who they want without consequence. And if you dare to challenge that belief by speaking up, suddenly you are cast as the “bad one.” You become the problem, the ungrateful one, the one who is “too sensitive” or “always starting drama.”

You are not allowed to ever tell them they did anything wrong. Even the smallest, most reasonable request for accountability can set off an explosion of anger, defensiveness, or cold withdrawal. And when you do speak up, they punish you. Sometimes the punishment is silent treatment, sometimes it’s rage, sometimes it’s twisting your words until you question your own memory of events. Over time, the cost of asserting yourself becomes so high that you learn to stop speaking altogether.

It gets to the point where you swallow your feelings just to keep the peace. You start to convince yourself, *“It’s just not worth it.”* And that’s exactly how they gain more control—by training you to silence your voice, to suppress your truth, to doubt your right to be treated with respect. What began as you simply defending yourself turns into you walking on eggshells, calculating every word, every move, just to avoid conflict.

And this is how a narcissist teaches you to tolerate their abuse. It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a slow, insidious process. It starts with subtle criticisms, small punishments, manipulative guilt trips. Over time, these moments pile up until your self-worth erodes. You find yourself shrinking, losing confidence, doubting your intuition, and feeling trapped.

This process is known as **coercive control**—a form of abuse that doesn’t just break you all at once, but instead chips away at your spirit piece by piece. It destroys you a little at a time, making you feel powerless, confused, and dependent. That’s why escaping a narcissist isn’t just about leaving a relationship—it’s about reclaiming your voice, your boundaries, and your right to exist as a whole, respected human being.