Real love is not:

Selfish, self-serving, and one-sided. It is not about one person constantly taking while the other is left empty. Real love is about mutual giving, support, and care.

It is not inconsistent, chaotic, unpredictable, or unreliable. Real love doesn’t leave you wondering where you stand, confused about someone’s feelings, or anxious about whether they will stay or go. It is steady, consistent, and grounding.

It is not something that can be taken away unexpectedly. Love is not a game of conditions or ultimatums—it doesn’t disappear the moment you make a mistake or stop serving someone’s ego. True love is secure and lasting.

It is not something that has to be “earned.” You don’t have to prove your worth, overextend yourself, or constantly chase validation. Real love accepts you as you are, without requiring you to beg for affection or prove your value.

It is not punishing, spiteful, or vengeful. Love doesn’t seek to hurt you, “teach you a lesson,” or make you pay for mistakes. Instead, it forgives, heals, and chooses understanding.

It is not disrespectful and cold. Real love doesn’t belittle you, dismiss your feelings, or treat you like you don’t matter. It sees you, honors you, and values your presence.

It is not neglectful of your needs. Love does not make you feel invisible, unimportant, or overlooked. It listens, it responds, and it cares.

It is not dismissive of your boundaries. Real love respects your limits, honors your voice, and works with you—not against you.

And above all, real love is not something that has you questioning your self-worth. It should never make you feel like you are “not enough.” True love builds you up, makes you feel safe, valued, and appreciated for exactly who you are.