There's fascinating research showing that women have higher rates of autoimmune diseases and some studies suggest a connection to suppressed anger and chronic stress, which makes perfect sense for those of us raised by narcissistic mothers. You spent your entire childhood swallowing rage, turning your anger inward and teaching your body that expressing your truth was dangerous. Years of suppressed "how dare you treat me this way" can literally manifest as your immune system attacking itself, as if your body is finally expressing all the fury you never felt safe to voice.

Growing up with a narcissistic mother meant your anger was never allowed to exist, let alone be expressed. When she violated your boundaries, you learnt to smile through it. When she dismissed your feelings, you turned that frustration inward. When she made you responsible for her emotions whilst ignoring yours, your body absorbed all that unexpressed rage. You became a walking pressure cooker of suppressed emotions and your immune system has been paying the price ever since.

Your body kept the score of every time you bit your tongue instead of speaking your truth. Every swallowed "that's not fair," every buried "you can't treat me like this," every silenced "I deserve better" has been stored in your nervous system, your muscles, your very cells. The anger you weren't allowed to express didn't just disappear, it went underground, creating inflammation, autoimmune responses and chronic health issues that conventional medicine often struggles to explain.

Now, as an adult doing the healing work, part of recovery involves learning to feel and express your anger in healthy ways. This doesn't mean literally slapping anyone (though the fantasy might be therapeutic!), but it does mean finally giving voice to all those suppressed emotions. It's screaming into pillows, punching boxing bags, writing letters you'll never send or simply saying "I'm angry about this and that's valid" without immediately apologising for feeling it.

For survivors of narcissistic mothers, anger is often the last emotion you learn to trust, because expressing it felt so dangerous for so long. But your anger contains vital information, it tells you when boundaries have been crossed, when you're being mistreated, when something needs to change. Learning to honour your anger instead of suppressing it isn't just good for your mental health; it might literally be life-saving for your physical health too.

Your autoimmune issues, chronic fatigue, digestive problems or mystery illnesses might be your body's way of finally expressing what your voice never could. When you couldn't fight back against your mother's treatment, your body learnt to fight against itself. When you couldn't protect yourself from external threats, your immune system started seeing everything as a threat, including your own healthy cells.

The prescription isn't actually violence (though the urge is understandable!) it's authentic expression. It's learning to set boundaries with the fury of someone who's finally done being mistreated. It's speaking your truth with the conviction of someone who spent too many years in silence. It's protecting your peace with the ferocity of someone who knows what chaos costs.

Your suppressed anger isn't character growth, it was survival strategy that may now be making you physically ill. Learning to feel and express your anger appropriately isn't becoming a "difficult woman", it's becoming a healthy one. Your body needs you to finally give voice to all those years of unexpressed rage, not for revenge, but for your own wellbeing.

So yes, channel that urge to metaphorically slap some sense into the world. Set boundaries that make people uncomfortable. Speak truths that others would rather ignore. Refuse treatment that your younger self had to accept. Your anger is medicine, not poison and your body has been waiting for you to finally take it.