Toxic people, including narcissists, will act like you are holding a grudge, or like you are some kind of horrible person, all because you set a boundary, and no longer allow their verbal attacks, aggressiveness, disrespect, criticisms and delusional accusations, rudeness, control, manipulation, abusive ways, or negative toxic behaviors. They will say things such as, “You’re kicking me out of your life.” They will act as if you are just the worst person in the world.

The truth is, toxic people hate boundaries because boundaries take away their control. They thrive in chaos, where they can twist your words, gaslight your reality, and drain your energy without consequence. When you finally put a stop to it — when you refuse to engage in their drama or allow their abuse — they panic, because their access to you is being threatened.

Instead of reflecting on their own behavior, they shift the narrative. They will portray themselves as the victim and you as the aggressor. They will conveniently leave out the part where they disrespected, manipulated, or hurt you. They won’t tell people about the constant criticisms, the lies, or the way they tried to control you. They will only share the version of the story that makes them look innocent and you look cruel.

A toxic person never looks at his or her own behaviors as the reason for the demise of their relationships. They usually have a long history of damaged connections — broken friendships, estranged family ties, and tension with coworkers. Yet somehow, in their mind, none of it is their fault.

When you protect your self-worth and emotional well-being by using healthy boundaries, they take it as a personal attack. They hold resentment, hate, and contempt toward anyone who stands up to them. To them, saying “no” is an act of war, and choosing peace over their drama is betrayal.

But here’s the truth: protecting your energy isn’t cruelty, it’s self-respect. Their reaction only proves why the boundary was needed in the first place.