People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often have intense emotions, fears of abandonment, and difficulties with relationships. What they want deep down usually isn’t complicated—it’s very human. While every person is unique, many with BPD often long for:

Stability and security – a safe environment where they don’t feel like the rug will be pulled out from under them.

Consistency in relationships – people who won’t leave them suddenly, ignore them, or switch up on them.

Understanding and validation – someone who listens and acknowledges their feelings without dismissing them as “too much.”

Love without conditions – reassurance that they can be cared for even when they’re struggling or reacting strongly.

Clear boundaries – even though they may push against them at times, boundaries actually make them feel safer.

Acceptance of their whole self – the good, the messy, and the vulnerable parts.

Hope and growth – the belief that they aren’t “broken” and that healing is possible.

At the core, people with BPD usually just want to feel seen, safe, and worthy of love without fear of abandonment.