A Love Letter to My Internal Thermostat That’s Clearly Broken.
Nobody warned me that perimenopause would feel like:
• Being personally attacked by my own body
• Spontaneously combusting while sitting perfectly still
• Going from “I’m fine” to “don’t talk to me” in under 4 seconds
Hot flashes aren’t just “feeling warm.”
They’re more like your body yelling,
“EMERGENCY. REMOVE ALL CLOTHING. PANIC SWEAT IMMEDIATELY.”
You could be:
✔️ In the freezer aisle
✔️ Standing in snow
✔️ Emotionally stable for once
And your body still says,
“No ❤️ we’re doing a sauna moment.”
And don’t get me started on the audacity of the timing.
Middle of a meeting? 🔥
Doing your makeup? 🔥
Sleeping peacefully for once? ABSOLUTELY 🔥🔥🔥
Perimenopause is realizing:
• Coffee makes you sweat
• Wine betrays you
• Stress shows up as rage and sweat
• Your patience has left the group chat
But here’s the part nobody jokes about enough:
You’re not broken.
You’re not dramatic.
You’re not “losing it.”
Your hormones are just throwing a chaotic farewell tour.
Helpful reality check:
Hydrate like it’s your job.
Dress in layers like you’re going on a survival mission.
Lower your stress when you can (or at least laugh at it).
And stop apologizing for needing breaks, fans, snacks, or silence.
If you see me:
• Fanning myself aggressively
• Opening a window in January
• Taking a deep breath before responding
Just know…
I’m fighting demons you cannot see.
Hot flashes may be rude.
Perimenopause may be wild.
But at least now we know why we’re hot, tired, and over it.
Solidarity, sweaty besties. 🔥🖤
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