Why Are We Smiling to Each Other’s Faces and Sharpening Knives Behind Their Backs?

Let’s talk about the elephant in the group chat.

Women can be incredible. Powerful. Supportive. Funny. Brilliant.
And sometimes? Yeah… we can also be catty as hell.

You know exactly what I’m talking about.

The compliments that feel a little too tight.
The smiles that don’t reach the eyes.
The “oh I love her!” followed by a brutal teardown the moment she leaves the room.

So the question is: why do we do this?

Why do we act sweet to a woman’s face and then go savage behind her back like it’s an Olympic sport?

Let’s be honest — it’s not because we’re “mean girls”

It’s usually insecurity wearing mascara.

Jealousy doesn’t always show up as envy. Sometimes it shows up as:

• Gossip

• Passive-aggressive comments

• Side-eyes disguised as jokes

• “Concern” that’s actually criticism

And before anyone gets defensive — this isn’t a women are awful post. This is a we’re better than this post.

Comparison is the real villain here

Social media didn’t invent jealousy, but wow did it give it a megaphone.

We compare bodies, success, parenting, relationships, money, confidence — all while pretending we’re “just curious.” And instead of asking, “What can I learn from her?” we ask, “How can I tear her down so I feel better?”

That’s not power. That’s pain.

And let’s talk about the fake niceness

Smiling in someone’s face while trashing them later isn’t being polite — it’s being dishonest.

If you wouldn’t say it to her face, maybe it doesn’t need to be said at all.
And if you would say it to her face… maybe say it with respect instead of venom.

Wild concept, I know.

Here’s the hard truth

Another woman’s success is not your failure.
Her confidence is not an attack on you.
Her life choices are not a personal insult.

We don’t need to compete in rooms where collaboration would actually change everything.

So what if we did this instead?

• Complimented without a hidden jab

• Gave credit where it’s due

• Shut down gossip instead of feeding it

• Rooted for women loudly — not just when it’s convenient

Because tearing other women down doesn’t make you stronger.
It just proves you’re still fighting battles within yourself.

Final thought (and yes, it’s a little zap)

If you feel the urge to be catty, pause and ask yourself:
Am I reacting to her… or to something unresolved in me?

Growth looks like choosing confidence over comparison.
Integrity over gossip.
And support over sabotage.

We don’t have to be like this.
And honestly? It’s time we stopped.

✨ Support women. Outgrow the bullshit. ✨