Because At This Point, The Ice Has Been Here Longer Than Some Relationships.
Listen.
I don’t know who angered Mother Nature…
I don’t know what unpaid bill she’s mad about…
but this cold snap has officially overstayed its welcome.
We had a snowstorm like a week and a half ago…
and instead of melting like a normal, respectful winter…
the snow said:
“No ❤️… I live here now.”
Every morning I walk outside thinking,
“Okay… today feels like the day things thaw.”
And Mother Nature hits me with another Arctic slap across the face like:
“Surprise! It’s still a frozen parking lot.”
Meanwhile…
I’m over here having hot flashes strong enough to defrost an entire cul-de-sac 😌🔥
and honestly?
If Mother Nature could just borrow ONE…
we might finally see pavement again.
Like ma’am…
You need a thermostat adjustment.
A blanket.
A warm beverage.
A personal pep talk.
Something.
Because right now?
We are one icy sidewalk away from everyone collectively losing their patience and wearing pajama pants to the grocery store out of protest.
But hey — if you see me outside smiling in this weather…
just know I’m not okay.
I’m just trying to will spring into existence through sarcasm and sheer stubbornness.
So tell me 👇
Are you:
❄️ Over winter
❄️ Surviving purely on coffee and complaints
❄️ Or secretly loving this cold and therefore cannot be trusted 😌
Stay warm out there…
and if Mother Nature suddenly starts sweating…
you’re welcome.
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