🚩 “If They Wanted To, They Would” — A Love Letter to Actions Over Excuses

 

Let’s talk about it.

You ever notice how some people have PhDs in Explaining but flunk the class on Doing?

Oh, they meant to.
They tried to.
They were going to.
They just had a long day. A weird week. A strange month. A Mercury-in-retrograde situation. Their goldfish needed emotional support.

But somehow… the effort never shows up.

Interesting.

🧠 Excuses Sound Smart. Effort Looks Boring.

Here’s the thing: excuses are often very polished.
They come with context. Backstory. Sometimes even dramatic music.

But effort?
Effort is quiet.
Effort just… shows up.

And that’s what people don’t like to talk about.

Because effort requires:

• Prioritizing

• Planning

• Following through

• And occasionally swallowing your pride

Excuses only require creativity.

🎭 Words Try. Behavior Decides.

You don’t need to argue with someone to understand them.
You don’t need to investigate.
You don’t need to cross-examine like you’re in a courtroom drama.

You just watch.

Patterns are loud.
Consistency is loud.
Inconsistency? Even louder.

If someone says you matter, you’ll see it.
If someone says they’re serious, you’ll feel it.
If someone says they care… but you’re confused?

That confusion is your answer.

(Yes. I said it. Respectfully. 😌)

🪞“But They Said—”

Listen.
We have all, at some point, fallen in love with potential.

We’ve all wanted to believe:

• “They’re just busy.”

• “They’re going through a lot.”

• “They’re not usually like this.”

And sometimes that’s true. Life happens. Humans aren’t robots.

But here’s the grown-woman, grown-man, emotionally-evolved truth:

If someone consistently has an excuse instead of an adjustment,
they’re choosing comfort over accountability.

And that’s not confusion.
That’s preference.

🔥 Notice. Don’t Nag.

You don’t need to:

• Send paragraphs.

• Over-explain your feelings.

• Beg for clarity.

• Become a motivational speaker for basic effort.

Just notice.

Notice who:

• Shows up without reminders.

• Fixes mistakes without ego.

• Communicates without being chased.

• Improves instead of defending.

And then adjust access accordingly.

No drama.
No announcement.
No TED Talk required.

Just quiet recalibration.

That’s power.

🧊 Cold? No. Clear.

Some people will call you cold when you stop tolerating inconsistency.

You’re not cold.
You’re calibrated.

You just realized:

• Effort is attractive.

• Accountability is sexy.

• Consistency is elite behavior.

And excuses?

They’re just noise.

👀 Final Thought

You don’t have to argue with reality.
You don’t have to convince someone to value you.
You don’t have to translate your standards into something easier to meet.

Just watch what people do.

Because at the end of the day,
the ones who truly care don’t need a speech.

They need a calendar… and they show up on it.