Let’s get real for a second. Trauma bonds are not love stories. They’re survival stories dressed up as passion, chemistry, and “but when it’s good, it’s REALLY good.” 🙃
If you’ve ever felt stuck in a relationship that hurts you more than it heals you—but leaving feels physically painful—congrats (and I say this lovingly): you might be in a trauma bond.
Grab your coffee. Or wine. Or both. Let’s break this down.
1. The Relationship Feels Addictive
You don’t just miss them—you crave them. Like withdrawal-level cravings. Your nervous system learned to associate chaos with relief, so the highs feel euphoric and the lows feel unbearable. That’s not romance. That’s conditioning.
Savage truth: If love feels like detox, it’s not love.
2. Extreme Highs and Crushing Lows
One minute they’re your soulmate. The next minute you’re crying on the bathroom floor questioning your sanity. The emotional whiplash is exhausting—but also keeps you hooked.
Helpful hint: Healthy relationships don’t need emotional roller coasters to feel alive.
3. You Keep Making Excuses for Their Behavior
You’ve become their PR manager.
“They didn’t mean it.”
“They had a rough childhood.”
“They’re stressed.”
Meanwhile, your feelings are on read.
Sarcastic aside: If excuses were currency, you’d be rich by now.
4. You Feel Responsible for Fixing or Saving Them
You believe if you love them harder, explain better, stay calmer, or sacrifice more, they’ll finally change.
Reality check: You are a partner, not a rehabilitation center.
5. Leaving Feels Terrifying—even When Staying Hurts
You know the relationship is damaging… but the thought of leaving feels worse than the pain of staying. That’s your nervous system panicking, not your heart choosing wisely.
Helpful reframe: Fear is not proof of love. It’s proof of attachment trauma.
6. You Doubt Yourself Constantly
You used to trust your instincts. Now you question everything:
“Am I too sensitive?”
“Did I overreact?”
“Is this my fault?”
Savage truth: When you’re always confused, someone else benefits from that confusion.
7. Boundaries Feel Impossible
You know what you should say—but saying it feels unsafe. Every attempt at a boundary leads to guilt, conflict, punishment, or emotional withdrawal.
Helpful reminder: Boundaries don’t ruin healthy relationships. They expose unhealthy ones.
8. You’re More Focused on Their Potential Than Their Reality
You’re in love with who they could be if they just healed, tried, or finally chose you.
Sarcasm incoming: Potential is not a relationship plan.
9. You Feel Emotionally Isolated
Even if you’re surrounded by people, you feel alone. You might stop sharing details because you’re tired of defending them—or tired of hearing the truth.
Hard pill to swallow: Isolation keeps trauma bonds alive.
10. Your Body Is Always on Edge
Anxiety. Tight chest. Insomnia. Stomach issues. That constant feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Your body knows before your brain does.
Helpful truth: Peace feels boring only when chaos is familiar.
Final Thoughts (Read This Twice)
Trauma bonds are powerful—but they are not permanent. Awareness is the first crack in the cycle. Healing doesn’t mean you’re weak for staying—it means you’re brave enough to choose yourself.
You don’t need more loyalty.
You don’t need more patience.
You don’t need to try harder.
You need safety, consistency, and peace.
And yes—you deserve all of that. 💛
If this hit a nerve, that’s not an accident. It’s clarity knocking.
No comments:
Post a Comment