Ah, therapy. The sacred place where we are supposed to unpack our emotions, process trauma, and emerge calmer, wiser… and yet somehow I end up in a full-on existential debate about nouns.
Therapist: “What triggers your crazy side?”
Me: “Nouns.”
Therapist: “Nouns?”
Me: “Yes. People, places, things. Basically anything that exists in the universe that dares to inconvenience me.”
Let’s be real: it’s not feelings, or bad vibes, or unresolved childhood issues. No. It’s literally nouns. Karen from accounting. The neighbor’s dog that barks at 6 a.m. My laptop, because apparently updates are a form of psychological warfare. Everything.
Here’s why nouns are dangerous:
1️⃣ People
Somehow, humans have mastered the art of pushing buttons while smiling. They don’t even need a reason—they’re like emotional ninjas.
2️⃣ Places
Grocery stores, traffic jams, Zoom meetings… all carefully designed to test patience and sanity. Geography is apparently a stressor now.
3️⃣ Things
Yes, inanimate objects. Because apparently my coffee mug being “slightly off-center” can spiral me into thoughts like, “Is the universe conspiring against me? Why do you betray me, spoon?!”
The takeaway:
If your therapist looks at you like you’re dramatic when you blame nouns… they don’t understand the stakes. Nouns are sneaky. They exist everywhere. They mock you quietly while you try to be “adult” and “rational.”
So the next time your therapist asks, “What triggers your crazy side?”, just nod sagely and whisper:
“Everything that exists. Including you. Especially you.” 😏
Because let’s be honest—if we can’t laugh at our own noun-induced chaos, we might cry, scream, or throw our laptop out the window. And trust me, nobody wants to explain THAT insurance claim.
Conclusion:
Nouns are the true villains of modern life. People, places, things—they are the ultimate chaos architects. Therapy may give coping strategies, but memes give validation. And sometimes, validation is enough to survive the day… one misbehaving noun at a time.
No comments:
Post a Comment