**Relationships with narcissists are very addictive.** The trauma bonds they create have been compared to heroin addiction — and for good reason. Just like with any addictive substance or behavior, there's an initial “high” — an intense, euphoric stage that hooks you in. In narcissistic relationships, this is the **love bombing phase**, when they mirror your dreams, your values, your needs. You feel seen, understood, adored — it’s almost too good to be true. Because it is.

Over time, the intensity fades, the warmth is replaced by coldness, the compliments turn into criticisms, and the affection gives way to confusion and pain. But like an addict chasing the first high, victims often stay — desperately hoping to experience that version of the narcissist again. The one who seemed perfect. The one who seemed to love them more than anything.

But here's the harsh truth: **that person never existed**. It was a false persona — a mask designed to gain your trust and attachment. Once you're hooked, the real narcissist begins to emerge, using manipulation, devaluation, and control to maintain dominance. The love you felt in the beginning becomes a weapon used against you.

Trauma bonding makes it nearly impossible to think clearly. Your brain becomes wired to survive in chaos, to excuse abuse, to hope for change — even when your soul is screaming for peace.

Recovery begins by accepting that what you were addicted to wasn't real love. It was control disguised as connection. And the only way to truly heal is to stop chasing that illusion — and start reclaiming yourself.