A parent who allowed their adult child to become estranged has, in truth, abandoned them.

Although the adult child may have been the one to physically walk away, that choice was not sudden, impulsive, or without deep emotional cost. It was the final step in a long, painful journey filled with unmet needs, unacknowledged pain, and repeated emotional neglect. A child—no matter their age—rarely wants to sever ties with a parent. But when every attempt to be heard is met with defensiveness, when apologies are replaced with excuses, and when accountability is avoided at all costs, the relationship begins to crumble piece by piece.

The parent had every opportunity to pause, to listen without judgment, to reflect on their actions, and to take meaningful steps toward repair. They could have chosen humility over pride, understanding over stubbornness, connection over control. But they didn’t. They chose the comfort of denial over the discomfort of growth. And in doing so, they sent a clear, unspoken message: “Keeping you in my life is not worth the effort of change.”

Estrangement is rarely a single act—it’s the slow erosion of trust and safety. The adult child didn’t walk away because they stopped caring; they walked away because staying meant betraying themselves. They left not to punish, but to protect their own well-being. And while the world may see them as the one who “left,” the truth is that their parent had already let go long before.