**Narcissists and the Cycle of Toxicity**

Narcissists get you so overwhelmed, confused, and crazy that you start acting in toxic ways yourself. Their constant manipulation, gaslighting, and twisting of reality leave you so emotionally drained that you begin to mirror some of their behaviors. You end up releasing your anger the same way they do—through snapping, yelling, shutting down, or lashing out.

The difference is, you are not happy about it. You don’t enjoy it. You don’t feed off the chaos the way they do. In fact, the moment you act out of character, guilt and shame begin to eat away at you. You start to feel like you’re becoming the very thing you always swore you never wanted to be. You don’t like yourself anymore, and you begin to wonder if you’re the real problem. This self-blame becomes heavy, because unlike the narcissist, you are capable of reflection and empathy.

That is the dividing line. Narcissists never take responsibility. They don’t admit fault, they don’t acknowledge their harmful patterns, and they certainly don’t lose sleep over the pain they cause. But you? The fact that you can recognize when you’ve been toxic, and that it bothers you, is proof you are not like them. It means you still have a conscience, a moral compass, and the ability to grow.

If you are acting out by being toxic, it does not mean you are doomed to stay that way. You can recover yourself. You can look honestly at the ways you’ve been hurt and the unhealthy patterns you’ve picked up in survival mode. Then, you can make a plan to do better. Healing is not about perfection; it’s about progress. With awareness, reflection, and effort, you can break free from those toxic responses.

The beautiful truth is that you are capable of reclaiming your own identity, one that isn’t shaped by their abuse. You can choose respect, compassion, and accountability for yourself. You can forgive yourself for the moments you slipped into survival-driven toxicity, and instead focus on rebuilding your self-worth. Every time you hold yourself accountable, every time you choose to act differently, you are gaining back your self-respect. And that is something no narcissist can ever take from you.