**Narcissistic abuse** is one of the most confusing, painful, and disorienting experiences a person can endure. It’s important—*vital*, even—to grieve the relationship. Not just the real parts, but the illusion, too. The version of them you fell for was never real. The promises, the dreams, the future plans—it all felt so genuine. And for you, it was. But for them, it was a means to an end: control, admiration, power.

As hard as it is to accept, you must grieve *both* the real and the fake parts of the relationship. It may sound strange, but your nervous system doesn’t distinguish between fantasy and reality—it just knows it lost someone it was deeply connected to, even if that person never really existed in the way you believed. And that grief needs somewhere to go. Suppressing it only delays healing. Let yourself cry, rage, reflect—**feel it all.**

The turning point in recovery isn’t when you *think* you’re done hurting. It’s when you finally *know*, deep in your heart—not just in your head—that **it was never your fault.** You were never too emotional, too difficult, or too needy. You were manipulated into thinking that you caused the chaos, that you weren’t good enough, that you needed to try harder. But the truth is: **you were enough all along.**

You are a beautiful, worthy, loving, kind, and compassionate soul. A perfect creation of God. Their inability to love or treat you with respect has *nothing* to do with your worth. Narcissists are this way before you, and they will continue to be this way after you. It was an *impossible* situation. It didn’t fail because you weren’t enough—it failed because they are incapable of healthy, reciprocal love.

They don’t change. They don’t grow. They only switch masks.

Every one of their relationships follows the same cycle: idealize, devalue, discard. The only thing that changes is the name of the target. Once someone starts seeing through their manipulations, once the illusion starts crumbling, they panic. They either discard you or begin searching for a new supply behind your back while pretending to keep things “working.”

This is not love. This is survival for them—a game of image, ego, and control.

**But your story doesn’t end with them.** Your healing begins when you stop trying to understand *why they did what they did*, and start asking yourself, *“What do I deserve?”* And the answer is: peace, love, honesty, safety, and a life free from manipulation.

You didn’t lose a soulmate.

You lost someone who never truly *saw* your soul.

And in their absence, you’ll rediscover it—stronger, wiser, and more radiant than ever.