Let’s talk about something we all avoid until we absolutely can’t anymore: auditing our friendships. Not the cute “we’ve been friends since middle school” kind. The real kind. The grown-up, receipts-on-the-table kind.
Because friendships, like finances, either build your life… or quietly drain it.
Here’s the thing: real friends don’t compete with your joy, minimize your wins, or vanish when life gets inconvenient. They don’t turn every conversation into a TED Talk about themselves while you sit there nodding like a dashboard bobblehead. And they definitely don’t treat your boundaries like cute little suggestions.
If someone only calls when they need emotional labor, advice, validation, or gossip fuel—congratulations, you’ve been cast as a support character in their main storyline. Unpaid. Uncredited. Exhausted.
Let’s break it down:
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If they celebrate your wins, they’re secure. If they minimize them, they’re threatened.
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If they check on you, they care. If they only talk about themselves, they’re using you as a sounding board.
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If they show up, they value you. If they constantly make excuses, you’re optional.
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If they respect boundaries, they respect you. If they push them, that’s control wrapped in “concern.”
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If they support your growth, they’re aligned with your future. If they sabotage it, they’re attached to your old version.
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If they keep your secrets, they’re safe. If they gossip, you’re next.
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If they apologize, they’re accountable. If they blame, they’re allergic to responsibility.
And here’s the savage truth no one tells you:
A friend who consistently fails these tests isn’t neutral. They’re a liability.
You don’t need to announce your exit. You don’t need a dramatic confrontation. You don’t owe a closing statement. Sometimes the most powerful move is quietly reallocating your energy to people who don’t require you to shrink, explain, or recover afterward.
Friendship isn’t supposed to feel like emotional overtime.
Audit accordingly. Protect your peace. Upgrade your circle.
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