I Checked. I Rechecked. I’m Still Confused. Yet… Here We Are

 

“I shit you not” means:
I’m fully aware this sounds unbelievable.
I’ve reviewed the facts.
I checked it twice because surely this couldn’t be real.
I am still slightly surprised myself…
and yet, here we are.

This phrase exists for moments when reality has officially stopped asking for permission.

It’s for the conversations that start with, “You’re not going to believe this,” and end with you questioning the timeline, the logic, and the collective decision-making skills of humanity.

“I shit you not” is not exaggeration.
It’s emotional documentation.

It’s what you say when:

• The audacity arrives early and unannounced

• Common sense clocks out without notice

• The plot thickens for absolutely no reason

• And you realize life has writers, but zero editors

This phrase carries the weight of someone who wants to be lying — but cannot. Because the evidence is sitting right there, staring back at you, forcing you to accept that this is, in fact, your life now.

And let’s be clear: saying “I shit you not” isn’t being dramatic.
It’s providing a disclaimer.

It’s a verbal footnote that says:
“I understand how this sounds. I am just as concerned as you are.”

So if you hear someone start a sentence that way, don’t interrupt. Don’t doubt them. Buckle up. Because what follows has already passed the sniff test, the logic test, and the ‘how are we here?’ test.

Still surprising.
Still real.
Still happening.

And yes… I shit you not.