What Happens When You Keep Being Kind to a Narcissist Who Keeps Hurting You?

 

Let’s talk about it.
Because somebody needs to hear this—probably more than once.

You don’t become “the bigger person.”
You don’t magically heal them.
You don’t win some invisible kindness award.

What actually happens?

You become their favorite supply.

See, narcissists don’t interpret kindness the way healthy people do. They don’t see grace, patience, or empathy as love. They see it as permission.

Permission to:

• Cross your boundaries again

• Rewrite the story

• Avoid accountability

• Drain you emotionally

• And still expect access to you

And the wild part? The kinder you are, the more confused you get.

Because you’re thinking:

“If I just explain it better…”
“If I stay calm…”
“If I love harder…”

Meanwhile, they’re thinking:

“Cool. I can do this again.”

Let’s be very clear (and a little savage):
Your kindness is not curing them—it’s enabling them.

Kindness without boundaries isn’t love.
It’s self-abandonment with a pretty label.

And no, you’re not weak for caring. You’re not stupid for trying. You’re human. You led with empathy because that’s who you are. But at some point, kindness has to come with consequences—or it turns into a liability.

Here’s the truth nobody likes to say out loud:
A narcissist doesn’t change because you love them harder.
They change when access to you is removed.

Your peace is not selfish.
Your distance is not cruelty.
Your silence is not punishment—it’s protection.

So if you’re wondering what happens when you keep being kind to someone who keeps hurting you…

You disappear.
And they stay exactly the same.

Choose you.
Every time.

Because kindness is powerful—but discernment is deadly. 🖤