Healing is weird. Not “quirky candle-and-therapy-journal” weird. More like “why am I laughing at memes at 2 a.m. instead of processing my emotions like a responsible adult” weird.
And yet somehow, people still expect healing to look organized. Like there’s a syllabus. Week 1: cry elegantly. Week 2: journal. Week 3: become enlightened and stop checking your ex’s social media like it’s your job.
Spoiler: that’s not how this works.
Some people heal by talking it out until their friends start strategically ignoring their calls. Some people heal by disappearing like they joined the witness protection program for their own peace. Some people heal by laughing too loud at everything, even things that are objectively not funny. And yes, some people heal by working so hard they forget they’re supposed to be “reflecting” and not just surviving on caffeine and sheer delusion.
Me? Personally? I rotate between all four like I’m building a chaotic emotional playlist nobody asked for.
And here’s the part we don’t say enough out loud: none of it looks pretty in real time. Healing is not a curated Instagram reel with soft lighting and perfect captions. It’s more like emotional patchwork stitched together with overthinking, avoidance, breakthroughs, and at least one moment of “I’m fine” said through clenched teeth while absolutely not being fine.
But somehow, we still judge people for it.
“Oh, they’re not handling it the right way.”
Oh? And what’s the right way? Enlightenment on a schedule? Tears on demand? A personality reset by Tuesday?
Please.
The truth is, healing isn’t a performance. It’s not meant to be witnessed, ranked, or compared. It’s just people trying to stop bleeding from things nobody else can see.
So if someone is loud about it, quiet about it, productive about it, or pretending it didn’t happen while aggressively reorganizing their entire life at 3 a.m.—let them.
Because at the end of the day, the goal isn’t to heal “correctly.”
It’s just to heal enough to keep going.
And honestly? That’s already impressive enough without an audience critique. 😌
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