Bullshizzle: The Deluxe Edition of Absolute Nonsense You’re No Longer Entertaining

 

Let’s elevate your vocabulary today, shall we?

The word of the day is: Bullshizzle.

Not your basic, run-of-the-mill nonsense…
No, no. This is premium, extra-seasoned, confidently delivered foolishness served to you like you’re supposed to clap at the end.

Sir… respectfully… who is this performance for?

What Exactly Is Bullshizzle?

Bullshizzle is:

• Lies dressed up in business casual

• Excuses with a motivational speaker tone

• Confusion… with confidence

It sounds good.
It flows nicely.
It almost makes sense… until your brain goes:

“Wait… run that back… because WHAT??”

Signature Traits of Bullshizzle (You’ve Seen This Show Before 😌)

• Delivered with eye contact like it’s legally binding

• Sprinkled with just enough detail to feel believable

• Wrapped in enthusiasm like you’re supposed to be impressed

It’s giving:
“I made this up… but I believe it, so you should too.”

Common Bullshizzle Translations

• “I’ve just been busy”
  = I had time, just not for you

• “You’re overthinking it”
  = Please stop thinking, you’re getting too close

• “That’s not what I meant”
  = That’s exactly what I meant, but now there are consequences

• “I’m different now”
  = I changed absolutely nothing, but let’s see if this works

Why It Almost Works (But Not on You Anymore)

Because bullshizzle isn’t lazy.
Oh no… it’s curated.

It’s smooth.
It’s confident.
It’s delivered like a TED Talk nobody asked for.

And for a split second, you almost consider it…

Then your intuition taps you on the shoulder like:
“Girl. Stand up.”

The Glow-Up: You Don’t Entertain Bullshizzle Anymore

You’re not:

• Asking follow-up questions to nonsense

• Playing detective with obvious lies

• Or giving people the benefit of the doubt when they’ve given you a reason not to

Nope.

Now you just:
Smile. Nod.
And mentally file it under: “Absolutely not.”

Final Thought (A Little Savage, A Lot True):

Just because it’s said confidently…
doesn’t mean it’s valid.

It just means they rehearsed the bullshizzle.

And you?
You’re no longer confused.

You’re just… unavailable for the performance.

Misunderstood? Perfect. That Means I’m Not for Everyone.

 

Let them talk.
Actually—encourage it. Give them snacks if needed.

Because the moment you stop bending yourself into something digestible for everyone, people get real creative with the storytelling. Suddenly you’re “too much,” “too cold,” “too independent,” or my personal favorite—“hard to read.”

No babe… you’re just not easy to control. Big difference.

Here’s the thing:
People will paint you based on their own perspective, not your reality.

So yeah—
They might label you.
Judge you.
Twist the story like it’s a Netflix drama they’re producing for free.

Meanwhile, you’re just out here:

• Being solid
• Being loyal
• Meaning what you say
• And not playing weird emotional games for sport

How dare you.

You Know Your Intentions—That’s the Flex

Not everyone operates with a clean heart.
So when you do? It confuses people who are used to hidden agendas and half-truths.

Your loyalty? Rare.
Your intentions? Real.
Your self-respect? Loud… even when you’re quiet.

And that part about not being afraid to sit alone?
That’s not loneliness—that’s standards with a backbone.

Not Everyone Gets a Seat at Your Table

Let’s be honest—some people don’t want to sit at your table…
They want to flip it over and ask why you’re upset.

So no, you’re not chasing approval.
You’re not over-explaining.
And you’re definitely not shrinking to make anyone comfortable.

If they misunderstand you?
Cool. That’s their assignment, not yours.

The Bottom Line (A Little Spice Included)

You know exactly what you bring to the table.
And if someone can’t see it?

They can keep eating somewhere else.

Because you’re not here to convince anyone of your worth.
You’re here to live in it—loud, unbothered, and occasionally a little petty when the situation calls for it.

Ride solo if you have to.
Just don’t ever downgrade yourself to get a passenger. 🖤

Peace Has a Price Tag—And It’s Not Your Sanity

 

Let’s clear something up real quick: peace isn’t free.

And no, you don’t get it by over-explaining yourself, fixing grown adults, or giving your last emotional dollar to people who treat boundaries like optional suggestions.

You pay for peace with distance.
Yes… distance. That thing people love to label as “rude,” “cold,” or my personal favorite—“you’ve changed.”
Correct. I have. That’s the whole point.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Peace doesn’t show up because you tried harder.
It shows up the moment you stop entertaining nonsense like it’s your full-time job.

You don’t get peace by:

• Repeating yourself for the 17th time like you’re a customer service rep for bad behavior
• Explaining your boundaries to people committed to misunderstanding them
• Giving “one more chance” like you’re Oprah handing out cars

No. You get peace by quietly stepping back and letting people keep their chaos… without you in it.

Distance Feels Expensive… At First

Let’s not pretend it’s easy.

At first, distance feels:

• Awkward
• A little guilt-inducing
• Slightly like you’re the villain in someone else’s dramatic little storyline

But here’s the part nobody tells you:
Chaos charges interest.

Every time you stay in draining situations, you’re paying with:

• Your energy
• Your focus
• Your mental clarity
• Your patience (which, let’s be honest, is already on a tight budget)

And the longer you stay?
The higher the cost.

Some People Don’t Want Peace—They Want Access

Let that sink in.

There are people who:

• Thrive on drama
• Create confusion like it’s a hobby
• Need constant reactions to feel relevant

And if you stay close to that?
You become their favorite source of entertainment.

Not connection. Not respect.
Entertainment.

So when you pull back and suddenly you’re “different”?
No… you just stopped playing the role they assigned you.

Protect Your Peace Like It Pays Your Bills

Because honestly… it kind of does.

Peace gives you:

• Clear thinking
• Better decisions
• Emotional stability
• The ability to actually enjoy your life without constant interruptions from nonsense

That’s not selfish.
That’s smart.

Choosing peace means:

• Fewer conversations that go nowhere
• Fewer reactions to things that don’t deserve your energy
• Fewer chances given to people who keep fumbling them

It’s not about being cold.
It’s about being done.

The Bottom Line (A.K.A. The Part People Don’t Like)

Access is not a right.
It’s a privilege.

And if someone keeps disrupting your peace?
They don’t need another explanation.
They need distance.

So here’s your reminder:
You can either pay once—with distance…
Or keep paying forever—with your sanity.

Choose wisely. 💅

Imaginationships: The Relationship Status You Need to Cancel Immediately

 

Let’s all gather around and discuss today’s very important vocabulary word:

Imaginationships.

You know… that relationship that exists nowhere except in your head, your group chat, and your delusion-fueled daydreams.

Yeah. That one.

What Exactly Is an Imaginationship?

It’s when:

• You’ve had 3 conversations and 47 internal monologues
• They said “hey” and you heard wedding bells
• They liked your story once and now you’re mentally picking out throw pillows together

Be honest…
You’re not in a relationship.
You’re in a creative writing project.

Signs You’re Deep in an Imaginationship (Respectfully… Get Up 😌)

• You’re rereading texts like it’s a coded message from the FBI
• You’ve built their personality based on ✨vibes✨ and one decent selfie
• You’re defending them to your friends… and they don’t even know you like that

Ma’am.
You are in love with potential, imagination, and a highlight reel that doesn’t exist.

Meanwhile… in Reality

They:

• Reply every 6–10 business days
• Don’t initiate conversations
• Are “just busy” (translation: not with you)

But somehow in your head, y’all are:

• “Taking it slow”
• “Building something real”
• “Just private”

No.
You’re just… unemployed in their life.

Let’s Add a Little Spice (Because You Knew I Would)

If you have to:

• Guess how they feel
• Decode their energy
• Or convince yourself they care

Congratulations. 🎉
You’ve been promoted to CEO of Clownery, Inc.

The Exit Strategy (Because We Believe in Growth Around Here)

Step 1: Put the phone down
Step 2: Stop romanticizing bare minimum behavior
Step 3: Remember—effort is not confusing

If they like you, you’ll know.
If they don’t… you’ll write a whole fantasy novel about why they might.

Final Thought (A Little Savage, A Lot Real):

Stop giving main character energy to someone who cast you as an extra.

Because “imaginationships” are fun…
until reality shows up and humbles you like a bad haircut.

Choose clarity over confusion. Every. Single. Time.

Alcohol Intelligence: When It’s Not You… It’s Your Liquid Life Coach Making Terrible Decisions

 

Let’s go ahead and address the viral truth we’ve all laughed at, reposted, and quietly felt called out by:

“Anything you do after getting drunk is not you… it’s AI — Alcohol Intelligence.”

And honestly?
That might be the most accurate rebrand of bad decisions I’ve ever seen.

Because somehow, the same person who said,
“I’m just going to have one drink and go home early”
turns into someone who’s:

• Texting people they blocked for a reason
• Confessing feelings nobody asked for
• Ordering food like they’re feeding a small village
• And suddenly becoming a part-time philosopher with zero credentials

Ah yes… Alcohol Intelligence has entered the chat.

Meet AI: Alcohol Intelligence (Not to Be Confused with Actual Intelligence)

Alcohol Intelligence is bold.
Unapologetic.
Delusionally confident.

She will convince you that:

• Reaching out to your ex is “closure”
• Oversharing is “honesty”
• Dancing on furniture is “self-expression”
• And that one more drink is a “great idea”

She’s persuasive.
She’s chaotic.
She has absolutely no regard for your peace, dignity, or tomorrow morning.

The Problem with Blaming “AI” (Even Though It’s Hilarious)

As funny as it is to blame your alter ego, let’s not get it twisted:

Alcohol doesn’t create a new personality.
It just turns the volume all the way up on the one you were already managing responsibly.

So those texts?
Those thoughts?
That urge to “just say it”?

Yeah… those were already in there.
Alcohol just said, “Let’s remove the supervision.”

Why This Matters (a.k.a. Let’s Not Ruin Our Own Lives for a Punchline)

Look, nobody’s saying you can’t have fun.

But if your version of fun regularly ends with:

• Regret
• Apologies
• Screenshots you wish didn’t exist
• Or waking up doing emotional damage control

…it might be time to stop letting “Alcohol Intelligence” run the show.

Because she does not have your best interests at heart.
She barely has a plan.

A Slightly Savage Reality Check

If you wouldn’t say it sober…
maybe don’t say it drunk.

If you wouldn’t text them clear-headed…
maybe they don’t need a midnight TED Talk from your tequila persona.

And if your “fun night” keeps turning into a “why did I do that” morning…
it’s not AI’s fault.

It’s a pattern.

Final Thought (Because We Love Growth and a Little Accountability)

You can laugh at the meme.
You can blame “Alcohol Intelligence” for a moment.

But real power?

Is knowing when to put your phone down, your drink down,
and your standards back up.

Because the goal isn’t to wake up and say,
“That wasn’t me.”

The goal is to live in a way where you don’t have to.

Cheers to fun… without the chaos. 🥂

The Hoovering Olympics: How Narcissists Try to Suck You Back In (And Why You Shouldn’t Hand Them the Trophy)

 

You ever notice how certain people disappear like a ghost with commitment issues… only to pop back up like a bad sequel nobody asked for?

Yeah. That’s not coincidence.
That’s hoovering — and no, not the productive, vacuum-your-living-room kind. This version is emotional, manipulative, and comes with zero warranty and a lifetime supply of audacity.

Let’s break down the signs, because if you don’t recognize it, you might accidentally RSVP “yes” to a toxic reunion tour.

1. The Sudden Resurrection Text

Out of nowhere—poof—they reappear.
“Hey stranger.”
“I’ve been thinking about you.”
“I miss us.”

Oh, now you have thoughts and feelings? Fascinating. Where were those during the disappearing act?

This usually happens after a period of silence, right when you’ve started healing, glowing, and minding your business. Coincidence? Not even a little.

2. The Selective Amnesia Act

They come back acting like nothing happened.

No apology with substance. No accountability. Just vibes.

It’s giving:
“Let’s just move forward”
…as if “forward” isn’t built on a pile of unresolved chaos, confusion, and emotional damage.

You’re expected to forget the pain like it was a minor inconvenience, not a full-blown emotional demolition.

3. The Emotional Highlight Reel

Suddenly, they’re reminiscing.

“Remember that trip?”
“Remember how happy we were?”
“No one understands me like you do…”

Ah yes, the greatest hits album of your relationship—conveniently edited to remove all the toxicity, manipulation, and moments that made you question your sanity.

This is not nostalgia.
This is strategy.

4. The “I’ve Changed” Speech (With Zero Receipts)

They say everything you’ve ever wanted to hear.

“I’m different now.”
“I’ve been working on myself.”
“I’ll do whatever it takes.”

Beautiful words. Truly.
Shame they’re not backed by consistent actions, effort, or actual accountability.

If change had a resume, they’d still be stuck in the “talking about it” section.

5. The Crisis Call

Suddenly, they’re going through something.

An emergency. A breakdown. A situation only you can help with.

And because you’re a decent human with a heart, your instinct is to respond.

That’s exactly what they’re counting on.

This isn’t vulnerability—it’s a calculated pull on your compassion.

6. The Boundary Tap Test

They don’t come back full force at first. Oh no, they ease in.

A like.
A random “hey.”
A casual check-in.

It’s the emotional equivalent of tapping the glass to see if the door is unlocked.

They’re not reaching out because they respect you.
They’re checking if they still have access.

7. The Victim Performance

Now suddenly, life has been so unfair to them.

“It wasn’t my fault.”
“People were against me.”
“I was going through a lot.”

And just like that, they flip the script so you’re not the one who was hurt—you’re the one who should feel bad.

It’s not accountability.
It’s emotional gymnastics with a gold medal in deflection.

So What’s Actually Happening Here?

Let’s be very clear:
This is not love.
This is not growth.
This is not closure.

This is someone trying to pull you back into a cycle they never had any intention of fixing.

Because access to you?
That was always the goal.

Here’s the Part They Hope You Don’t Realize:

You don’t owe anyone access to you just because they suddenly remembered you exist.

You don’t have to respond.
You don’t have to explain.
You don’t have to reopen a door you fought hard to close.

Silence is a response.
Boundaries are a response.
Growth is a response.

Final Thought (A Little Savage, As Promised):

If they come back without changed behavior, they didn’t come back for you.

They came back for control.

And you?
You’re not a vacuum.

You don’t get “hoovered.”
You unplug.

Spicy Tomato Shrimp with Zucchini Pasta Recipe Idea

 

Spicy Tomato Shrimp with Zucchini Pasta 

Makes 1 serving 

Ingredients:

2 tsp olive oil (2 healthy fats)

1 clove garlic, minced (1 condiment)

1/2 cup zucchini, chopped or spiral sliced (1 green)

1 cup cherry tomatoes or 1 cup Great Value Italian diced tomatoes (2 greens)

7 oz shrimp, cook, peeled and deveined (1 leanest)

1/4 tsp crushed red pepper flakes (1/2 condiment)

1 Tbsp fresh basil, chopped (1/16 condiment)

Directions:

In a medium sized skillet, add 2 tsp olive oil and garlic over medium high heat. 

Saute garlic until lightly brown.

Add zucchini and cook for 2 to 3 min or until zucchini is slightly soft.

Stir in the diced tomatoes and shrimp.

Sprinkle fresh basil and crushed red pepper over the mixture and simmer for an additional 5 minutes or until basil is wilted and heated thoroughly.

Respectfully… I’m Not Managing Grown People’s Feelings Anymore

 

At some point, every woman has a moment.

Not loud.
Not dramatic.
Just… quiet clarity.

The kind where you look around and realize you’ve been:
over-explaining, over-giving, over-apologizing, and overextending…

for people who wouldn’t even overthink a text message for you.

Yeah. That part.

So let’s clear a few things up—because growth isn’t just healing, it’s unlearning the nonsense you were taught to tolerate.

First of all…
you are not responsible for managing other people’s emotions.

You are not a therapist, a fixer, or an emotional support human for grown adults who refuse to regulate themselves.

If someone is upset because you set a boundary?
That’s not a you problem.

That’s a “they’re used to you having none” problem.

And speaking of boundaries—
“No” is a complete sentence.

Not “no, because…”
Not “no, but I feel bad…”
Not “no, let me explain my entire life story so you’re comfortable…”

Just… no.

If someone requires an explanation to respect your boundary, they weren’t planning to respect it anyway.

Let’s also talk about access.

Just because someone wants your time, your energy, your attention, or your presence…

does not mean they are entitled to it.

You are not a public resource.

And people will absolutely get “weird” when you stop being convenient.

They’ll call you different.
Distant.
Hard to reach.

Good.

You’re not here to be easy.
You’re here to be aligned.

Now let’s have a real moment:

Your gut has been right… every single time.

Every. Single. Time.

You didn’t “overthink it.”
You didn’t “read too much into it.”

You just ignored yourself to keep the peace.

And how’d that work out?

Exactly.

Let’s not do that anymore.

Also—
you cannot pour from an empty cup.

And no, running yourself into the ground isn’t a personality trait, it’s a warning sign.

Rest is not lazy.
Burnout is what happens when you keep acting like it is.

Take the break.
Log out.
Sit down.
The world will survive without your constant availability.

And while we’re here…

Stop apologizing for existing.

You’re allowed to take up space.
You’re allowed to have needs.
You’re allowed to not be “easygoing” all the time.

That version of you that said yes to everything and everyone?

She was tired.

And she’s retired.

Finally—
not everyone deserves a second chance.

Some people were the lesson.
Not the forever.

You’re allowed to outgrow people, places, and even versions of yourself that once felt like home.

Growth will make you uncomfortable.
It will make other people uncomfortable.

But staying the same just to keep others comfortable?

That’s a cost you don’t need to keep paying.

Moral of the story:
You’re not hard to deal with.

You’re just no longer easy to misuse.

And that’s called growth. 😌✨

Still Making Bad Decisions… Just Scheduling Them Better

 Let’s clear something up right now.

Getting older does not magically turn you into a wise, all-knowing, perfectly disciplined human being who suddenly makes flawless life choices.

No.

What it does do…
is slow you down just enough to think,
“Hmm… this is probably a bad idea…”

…and then proceed anyway. Just with a little more caution… and maybe a backup plan.

Because let’s be honest—
age doesn’t cancel out dumb decisions.

It just adds:

• a little hesitation
• a slightly longer recovery time
• and a much stronger desire to sit down afterward

In your younger years, bad decisions were fast, loud, and immediate.

Now?
They come with a group chat discussion, a pros-and-cons list, and at least one moment where you say,
“I’m too grown for this…”

…and then do it anyway.

Growth.

But here’s the part nobody talks about—
getting older isn’t about becoming perfect.

It’s about becoming aware.

Aware that:

• you’ve been here before
• you know how this usually ends
• and you’re absolutely choosing it anyway

Which, honestly, is a different level of accountability.

Because now you can’t even pretend you didn’t know better.

You knew.
You just… explored the option anyway.

Respectfully.

And maybe that’s the real evolution.

Not that you stop making mistakes—
but that you start owning them faster, recovering quicker, and laughing at yourself a little more along the way.

Because life isn’t a straight line of perfect decisions and glowing wisdom.

It’s a series of “I probably shouldn’t…” followed by
“well… here we are.”

The difference now?

You hydrate.
You stretch.
And you don’t answer unknown numbers while doing it.

Moral of the story:

You’re not done doing dumb stuff.

You’re just gonna take your time with it…
and hopefully learn something before your bedtime. 😌

The Turtle Strategy: Breathing Through Your Problems (Since Talking Through Them Clearly Isn’t Working)

 

Fun fact: turtles can breathe through their butts.

Yes. Nature really said, “Let’s give one species the ability to process life… differently.”

Meanwhile, humans?
We haven’t evolved that far.

But what we have mastered…
is talking through our butts.

And if you’ve been outside, online, or in a group chat for more than 7 minutes—you already know exactly what I mean.

Because somewhere along the way, we decided that saying more = knowing more.
That louder = smarter.
That having an opinion = having a clue.

Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

Some people aren’t communicating…
they’re just ventilating nonsense with confidence.

And the wild part?
They expect you to sit there, nod, and take notes like it’s a TED Talk.

No thank you.

See, turtles have the right idea.
They don’t argue with the ocean.
They don’t host debates about the current.
They don’t gather in circles to overanalyze every ripple.

They just… handle their business and keep moving.

Peacefully. Efficiently. Quietly.

Meanwhile, humans will:

• Over-explain something nobody asked about
• Turn a simple situation into a full-blown panel discussion
• Defend a bad take like it’s a personality trait
• And then wonder why nothing actually gets solved

It’s exhausting.

Here’s a thought:
What if instead of talking through every problem…
you just handled it?

What if you didn’t need to announce your plan, justify your moves, or crowdsource approval from people who aren’t even where you’re trying to go?

What if you moved like a turtle—low drama, high execution?

Because not everything needs a speech.
Not everything needs commentary.
And not everything deserves your energy in the form of a back-and-forth.

Sometimes the most evolved thing you can do…
is say less and do more.

Or better yet—
say nothing, and let your results speak in a language nobody can argue with.

Moral of the story:
Turtles breathe through it.
Humans talk through it.

Only one of those is actually effective.

Choose wisely. 🐢😌