Listen… Santa did not come to play this year.
This man has been sitting up in the North Pole minding his business, sipping cocoa, and suddenly he looked at his Naughty List like—
“Hold up… these folks ain’t naughty.
They’re just mentally unstable with festive tendencies.”
And honestly?
He’s not wrong.
Let’s break this down with holiday cheer, humor, and a sprinkle of ‘girl what is wrong with us’:
🎅 1. Santa Has Seen Things.
He sees you scrolling through your ex’s page from 2017.
He sees you arguing with imaginary people in the shower.
He sees you rehearsing confrontations you’ll never actually have.
He sees you buying self-help books and using them as coasters.
Naughty?
No, sweetheart…
“Clinically chaotic” is the category you’re falling under.
🎅 2. Santa Doesn’t Need Elves—He Needs Therapists.
Mrs. Claus probably walked by the Naughty List like,
“Baby… these folks don’t need coal. They need coping skills.”
Santa’s out here debating whether to deliver gifts or resources.
🎅 3. The Audacity Is Strong This Season.
You know what did it for him?
Not you being messy.
Not you being dramatic.
Not you being a walking red flag with glitter.
What broke Santa was watching you say,
“I’m done,”
and then answer the phone on the first ring.
That’s not naughty.
That’s holiday delusion.
🎅 4. Santa’s Trying to Save Your Life.
He’s not judging.
He’s concerned.
He’s in the workshop telling the elves,
“Hide the sleigh keys—she’s one more bad decision away from hopin’ it’s the universe giving her a sign.”
🎅 5. The Real Reason Santa’s Shook?
You’re out here:
-
Blocking people and unblocking them
-
Manifesting peace while choosing chaos
-
Asking the universe for a sign then ignoring it
-
Giving advice you don’t take
-
Saying “I’m fine” when you’re one peppermint away from a breakdown
Santa said you ain’t naughty…
You’re ‘mentally festive with complications.’
🎅✨ Final Sleigh Bell Truth:
This Christmas, Santa isn’t bringing coal.
He’s bringing boundaries, therapy vouchers, iced coffee, and maybe a journal.
Because you’re not bad…
You’re just out here living life with extreme personality seasoning.
And honestly?
Same.
Ho-ho-hold up and get your life together, babe. 🎄🤣
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