"I often feel like a fuck-up when it comes to love. I either love too much or not at all. Maybe I'll never get it right. I don't know. The only thing I do know is that I have love inside me deeper than most people will ever understand."
Whew.
Can we all just agree that love is the only thing where people expect you to give your whole heart... but somehow never too much of it?
It's exhausting.
I've spent way too many years wondering if I'm "too much."
Too caring.
Too loyal.
Too forgiving.
Too available.
Too patient.
Too willing to see the good in people who clearly left their "good" in another zip code.
Then one day I realized something...
Maybe I wasn't loving wrong.
Maybe I was just handing VIP access to people who only bought general admission tickets.
There's a difference.
See, people who love deeply don't usually do anything halfway.
We don't "kind of" care.
We don't "sort of" show up.
When we love, we remember your favorite snack, check to make sure you got home safely, celebrate your wins like they're our own, and somehow become your unpaid emotional support department.
Our love language is basically, "I thought of you."
Unfortunately...
That kind of heart attracts two types of people:
The ones who treasure it...
and the ones who treat it like an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Guess which group usually shows up first?
Exactly.
And after enough disappointments, something strange happens.
You swing from loving with your whole soul... to building emotional walls so high they need FAA clearance.
No in-between.
Because your brain starts saying, "Remember the last time we trusted someone? Yeah... let's not do that again."
Honestly, fair point.
But here's the truth I've been learning:
Loving deeply isn't the flaw.
Ignoring red flags because your heart keeps making excuses? That's the problem.
Confusing potential with reality? That's the problem.
Thinking consistency will magically appear if you just love harder?
Bless our optimistic little hearts.
Love isn't supposed to feel like a full-time rescue mission.
You shouldn't have to convince someone to choose you, appreciate you, respect you, or communicate with you.
That's not romance.
That's unpaid labor.
And let's retire the fantasy that we're one heartfelt conversation away from fixing emotionally unavailable people.
Spoiler alert:
You're not a therapist.
You're not a miracle worker.
And unless Amazon starts delivering emotional maturity with Prime shipping... they're probably going to stay exactly who they've been showing you they are.
Harsh?
Maybe.
Necessary?
Absolutely.
The beautiful part is this:
The fact that you love deeply doesn't make you broken.
It makes you rare.
The goal isn't to become colder.
The goal is to become wiser.
To stop pouring oceans into people who only brought a teaspoon.
To save some of that incredible love for the one person who's been running on empty while everyone else benefited from it...
You.
Because when you finally learn that your heart deserves the same protection you've been giving everyone else's, everything changes.
Will we still get it wrong sometimes?
Probably.
We're human.
We'll mistake chemistry for compatibility.
We'll ignore intuition because someone has a cute smile.
We'll occasionally think, "Maybe this time it'll be different."
(Our hearts really are adorable little optimists.)
But every experience teaches us something.
Not how to love less...
How to love better.
So if you've ever felt like a "fuck-up" when it comes to love, maybe it's time to ask yourself a different question.
What if you've never been bad at loving?
What if you've simply been giving championship-level love to people still playing in the kiddie league?
Now that's a completely different story.
And one worth rewriting.
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