I Quit Trying to Make Assholes Make Sense

 

At some point, you have to stop.

Stop replaying the conversation.

Stop analyzing the text message.

Stop wondering why they said what they said.

Stop asking yourself, “What could possibly make someone behave like that?”

And, most importantly, stop exhausting yourself trying to find logic in behavior that was never logical to begin with.

Because sometimes the answer is painfully simple:

Some people are just assholes.

There. Case closed. 😂

I used to waste an embarrassing amount of energy trying to understand shitty behavior.

Maybe they’re going through something.

Maybe I misunderstood.

Maybe I should communicate it differently.

Maybe they didn't realize how hurtful that was.

Maybe there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation.

Meanwhile, the person was over there behaving like a human dumpster fire while I was conducting a full FBI investigation trying to figure out why.

Girl. 😂

At some point, you have to realize that understanding someone's behavior isn't your responsibility.

You can have empathy without making excuses.

You can understand someone's struggles without accepting their disrespect.

You can recognize that someone has trauma without volunteering to become their emotional punching bag.

And you can absolutely love someone while deciding that their behavior is no longer something you're willing to tolerate.

Because here's the part nobody tells you:

You don't need to understand someone's behavior to set a boundary around it.

If someone repeatedly lies, manipulates, disrespects you, takes advantage of your kindness, creates chaos, or treats you like an option when you've consistently treated them like a priority…

You don't need a 47-page explanation.

You need a boundary.

And maybe a little common sense.

😂

Sometimes we're so focused on figuring out why someone is doing something that we forget to ask the much more important question:

“Why am I still allowing it?”

Oof.

That one will make you sit your ass down for a minute.

Because other people's behavior is their responsibility.

Your response is yours.

You don't have to match their ugly.

You don't have to prove your worth.

You don't have to win the argument.

You don't have to convince someone that they hurt you.

And you certainly don't have to keep handing someone access to you just because you finally figured out why they behave the way they do.

Sometimes closure isn't getting an explanation.

Sometimes closure is realizing:

“Oh. They're just not my people.”

And walking away.

No dramatic exit.

No 14-paragraph text.

No courtroom presentation with exhibits A through Z.

Just…

“This doesn't work for me anymore.”

And then you go live your life.

Because peace is expensive.

And I'm not wasting mine trying to make shitty behavior make sense anymore.

Some things aren't complicated.

Some people aren't misunderstood.

And some assholes don't need another chance.

They need distance.

And honestly?

That's okay.

Save your energy.

Protect your peace.

Keep your standards.

And stop trying to solve people who aren't interested in changing.

Not every mystery needs to be solved. Some just need to be left the hell alone. 😂