Listen… every December, malls across America prepare for a very specific kind of chaos: kids crying, parents bribing, and at least one auntie who’s had two mimosas too many thinking she’s about to drop it low for a picture with Santa.
But YOU?
You went and took it to a whole new level.
Because apparently — APPARENTLY — crawling onto Santa’s lap, leaning in real slow like a discount Hallmark villain, and whispering, “I’ve been a bad, bad girl…” is…
🚨 Not appropriate behavior for the mall.
🚨 Not appreciated by families waiting in line.
🚨 Not part of Santa’s job description.
(Though honestly he didn’t push you off, so who’s the real menace here?)
Girl, you walked in there thinking you were giving “holiday spice.” The mall staff thought you were giving “security, please.”
And can we blame them?
Kids are clutching their Hot Cocoa Bombs. Moms are fumbling their iPhones. The elves have already filed an HR complaint. Santa’s beard is trembling for its life.
Meanwhile you’re over there like:
“Is this the Naughty List interview portion orrrrr…?”
But honestly?
We love a woman with confidence.
We love a woman with boldness.
We love a woman who commits to the bit even when the bit is getting kicked out of Westfield Mall while a toddler cries because you traumatized Santa.
So here’s the real lesson:
This holiday season, be yourself — fearlessly, unapologetically, wildly yourself.
Just maybe…
maybe…
save the “bad girl monologue” for somewhere that doesn’t involve a mall Santa, a food court, and three PTA moms armed with peppermint lattes.
Stay festive. Stay spicy. Stay off the security radios. 🎄🔥
No comments:
Post a Comment