If Having Boundaries Makes Me “Difficult,” Go Ahead and Update My Résumé. 😏

 

There comes a point in life when being called “difficult” stops feeling like an insult.

Especially when what they really mean is:

You noticed.

You noticed the disrespect.

You noticed the inconsistency.

You noticed the manipulation dressed up as a misunderstanding.

You noticed that their words and actions were living in two completely different zip codes. 😂

And—here's where things apparently get really inconvenient—

you said something about it.

Suddenly you're difficult.

You're dramatic.

You're too sensitive.

You “always have to make an issue out of everything.”

Funny how setting a boundary can turn you into the villain in somebody else's story when they were benefiting from you not having one. 🤔

Here's what I've learned:

Peace does NOT mean allowing people to treat you however they'd like simply because you don't want conflict.

Sometimes peace sounds like:

No.

Sometimes it sounds like:

That doesn't work for me.

Sometimes it's:

Don't speak to me that way.

And occasionally, peace doesn't say a damn thing.

It just stops answering. 😂

Growing stronger doesn't mean becoming cold, angry or suspicious of everyone who crosses your path.

It means you've learned the difference between giving grace and giving unlimited access.

There's a difference.

A BIG one.

You can forgive someone and still decide they don't get the same seat at your table.

You can love someone and require better behavior.

You can understand why someone acts the way they do without volunteering to become the emotional punching bag for it.

And you can be kind without being easy to manipulate.

That's not bitterness.

That's experience with a decent memory. 😏

The older I get, the less interested I am in arguing people into treating me properly.

If basic honesty, respect, consistency and accountability feel like unreasonable expectations to you?

We probably don't need a 47-message text thread analyzing it.

We need distance. 😂

I've survived enough things to know I can survive somebody being disappointed that I finally have boundaries.

So yes, maybe I'm “difficult.”

Difficult to manipulate.

Difficult to disrespect repeatedly.

Difficult to lie to and expect me to pretend I didn't notice.

Difficult to convince that crumbs are suddenly a five-course meal just because you put them on a pretty plate. 💅😂

I'm okay with that.

Because healing doesn't teach you to tolerate more bullshit.

Eventually, it teaches you to recognize it faster.

And once you've fought hard enough for your peace, you become a whole lot more selective about who gets permission to disturb it. ❤️