Saw this one today on Social Media and just loved it. It's so true so I just thought I would share this wise woman's words- Kudos to the author :-)
The hardest thing is to put to bed a friendship you thought was for a lifetime. It's especially hard when it's because someone chooses to believe the worst in you instead of remembering the best.
We can use tropes like "friendships are for a season" or "people change." Sometimes we end friendships because it is the healthy thing to do or a life event changed us in some way.
But be gentle with other people's hearts, kind with your thoughts and words, and optimistic about people's actions when you've been deep and bonded.
Friendship can be hard, and we have to keep learning and growing to make it work.
Friendship isn't about getting invited to events. It's about the people who show up on your doorstep when you need it most without being asked.
Friendship isn't a competition about who works out more or what sports team your kid is on or who has the better car. It's about having someone who accepts you just as you are.
Friendship isn't worrying about every word that comes out of your mouth or passive-aggressive comments or believing the bad about you when it comes out of someone else's mouth. It's about believing the best even when you're at your worst.
Good friends show up. Great friends keep bothering you when you've gone silent to make sure you're okay.
Good, strong, messy beautiful friendship is rare. But it's out there. I've seen it. I'm lucky enough to have a few of these people in my life.
But I've also been hurt, so I try to learn from that. I try to grow from these experiences, understand my role, remember how I felt during those times.
Do you want to find good friends, great friends? It's not just about how they treat you. It's how they treat other people.
Look for the woman who always has room at her table for one more. Life isn't an exclusive club.
Listen to the way they talk about people when they're not in the room, because you won't always be in the room.
Watch how they treat someone who needs help, because friend, we all need help sometimes.
Remember how they treat people when they feel wronged, because there will always be misundersandings.
Look for the women who tell their stories from the trenches, the ones willing to admit they've faced problems in their marriage, the ones willing to admit the fears for their kids.
Seek out the ones who invite you into their messy because they have no time for false pretenses.
Find the women who don't cringe when you share you've faced mental health challenges or you struggle with motherhood or your teenager got in trouble again.
Look for the way a woman is openly and brutally honest with another woman because it's the kindest gesture she could offer. Look for the woman who holds a judgmental tongue to let her friend rant. Look for the woman who doesn't share other women's secrets because you probably have some secrets, too. Look for the woman who will tell you that you have spinach in your teeth or a tag on your dress.
And then be this kind of friend, too.
Friendship isn't about what you see on social media. It's about finding someone to share the joy and the sorrow and the beautiful and the messy. It's a place where you can bare your soul without fear or judgment from the outside world.
It's a relationship with someone who makes you better but loves you just the way you are.
Instead of looking at friendship as seasons, be a friend that accepts the tides. Sometimes it's high, touching every aspect of your life, and sometimes it may be low with minimal impact, but it is always there.
Life is short, and you never know what tomorrow will bring.
Be brave with your friendships. Think the best of someone. Don't play games. Talk things out.
I'm lucky to have a few friendships like this.
I hope you do, too.
Love hard.
Whitney
