This is a classic tactic used by manipulators, and it's designed to make you feel guilty, or ashamed, or responsible for someone else's behavior, and it's often used to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions, and to maintain power and control over others.
Here's the thing: you are not responsible for someone else's disrespect, and you are not responsible for their behavior, and you are not responsible for their actions, and you are not responsible for their words, and you are not responsible for their tone, and you are not responsible for their attitude.
You are only responsible for your own reactions, and your own responses, and your own boundaries, and your own needs, and your own feelings, and your own emotions, and your own well-being.
Don't let anyone manipulate you into thinking that your reaction to their disrespect is the problem, because it's not, the problem is their disrespect, and their refusal to take responsibility for their actions, and their attempt to shift the blame onto you, and control the narrative, and maintain power and control over you.
Remember, you have the right to react to disrespect, and you have the right to stand up for yourself, and you have the right to demand respect, and you have the right to walk away from anyone who disrespects you, and tries to manipulate you into thinking that it's your fault.
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