Friday, June 29, 2012
Many of us do the very same things in our work as well as in our personal lives. I know lots of people who are virtually always late, whether it's to pick up the kids in their car pool, sit down before church starts or prepare food for dinner guests. The interesting part of this tendency isn't the fact that they are always running late, but the excuses that are used. "I had to pick up three kids, I had to make two stops before work, It's tough to get everything done before I run out the door, etc.
Again, I'm not denying that it is tough to get everything done but in most cases, you are working with absolutely known variables. You know exactly what you need to do and how long it is roughly going to take and that there will almost certainly be obstacles to contend with. You are aware of the fact that it is work and it takes a certain amount of time.
To get over procrastination requires humility. The only solution is to admit that, in most instances, you do have the time but you must start a little earlier and make whatever allowances are necessary to ensure that you wont be in a mad rush. By procrastinating, you are creating stress in your life and stress for other people. You need to make an effort to start earlier on a more consistent basis.
Think of how much less stress would be in your life if you would simply begin your tasks a little earlier rather than rushing from one project to the next, you would have plenty of time.
This is a simple yet important suggestion. Once you get in the habit of starting a little earlier, a great deal of your daily stress, at least that portion that you have some degree of control over, will fade away
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Thursday, June 28, 2012
You must always remember that it is never too late to change your life. Golden rule of thumb: Change begins with you
A day without inspiration and laughter is a day wasted.
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I saw this article today about emotional baggage and enjoyed it. I always like to share good articles :-)
Let Go of Your Old Emotional Baggage Today
By Nick Arrizza
Two things are certain a) everyone is carrying some emotional baggage and b) everyone struggles to keep it at bay. What most don't know is it's now possible to completely and permanent delete old emotional baggage from the subconscious mind so that all ones time, energy and focus can go into creating a happy, fulfilling and successful life. So how does one do that you ask?
Emotional baggage manifests as negative thinking, negative emotions and self sabotaging behaviours that interfere with self esteem, self confidence, self worth, feelings of adequacy, emotional stability, relationships, career success, personal health, and the full expression of one's creative authentic self to name a few.
All emotional baggage results from past negative events/experiences such as old rejections, abuse, abandonment, humiliations, failures etc. These events are all recorded and stored within the subconscious mind as negative memories. Such memories serve as the so called "evidence" for why one believes (and feels) themselves to be inadequate, unlovable, defective, needy, weak, fearful, unattractive and so on.
In other words the negative memories are the "foundation" of "all" old emotional baggage!
What you probably don't know is that memories in the subconscious mind can now be rapidly, easily and permanently erased/deleted from within in much the same way that old unwanted computer files are deleted from the hard drive of your computer.
This erasure requires no drugs, hypnosis, NLP, EFT, or any therapy known on this planet.
So how does it work, you ask?
Well, a decade ago it was realized that negative memories behave much like a "waking dream state" i.e. they are experienced playing themselves out on the screen in the back of the mind in much the same way that dreams you have when asleep float through and captivate your mind at that time.
You are very familiar with how minutes after you awaken from a dream filled sleep the dreams seem to evaporate from consciousness and are next to impossible to recall. Well it turns out that erasing a memory is much like "waking up" from it.
Does that sound strange?
Well, let me use another metaphor. Suppose you went to a stage hypnosis show where you became one of the subjects and happened to be given the suggestion that you would feel and experience yourself as a 5 year old once you left.
If the suggestion never wore off you would continue to think of and experience yourself this way. It's obvious that as a 5 year old, adult responsibilities would feel totally overwhelming to you. Now, isn't that how many adults already feel?
Suppose that days later you ran into the hypnotist and he/she reversed the suggestion so that you could permanently wakeup to the experience of your true capable adult self, wouldn't you feel relieved? Absolutely!
Well, it turns out that negative memories are (and behave) exactly like hypnotic trance like states. The way to wakeup from them is simply to erase them.
A decade ago while researching negative memories a new and powerful coaching algorithm was discovered that allows one to do just this. It is based on helping one uncover the many false beliefs we have about how we think negative memories serve us.
As these memories are systematically deleted the person progressively wakes up to the experience of an empowered, self confident, self assured, self loving, self respecting, discerning, mature, capable, attractive, authentic human being.
What most are amazed by when they experience this is that their true self was always there in the background waiting to be acknowledged and reclaimed.
So if this has peaked your interest and you would like to permanently unload emotional baggage that has been standing in the way of your happiness and success simply visit the web site below where you can request a free introductory 1 hour telephone/Skype consultation that will begin to empower and enliven you.
Nick Arrizza M.D., a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor is now an International Expert Life, Relationship & Spiritual Tele-Coach, Author the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process�(MRP).
A Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone/Skype Consultation and a Free E-copy of my new book are available upon request. (You will be asked to cover your own long distance telephone charges)
Copyright�2012, Nick Arrizza, All Rights Reserved Worldwide
I saw this one today and it pretty much sums up my feelings on how I feel about protecting family
Wow, a picture really can say a thousand words
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How Strength Out of Weakness Works
By Steve Wickham
Give me straight sight,
Ears only for You,
Set my heart right,
So I act on what's true.
Having recently dealt with a day when numerous examples of other people's irresponsibility impacted on me, directly, I lamented how other people's concerns had become my responsibility. Yet other people's obligations can only become our responsibility if we accept them. Part of the problem was mine. I felt weary, neglected, and somewhat angry.
It's amazing what exercise does. A 30-minute sprint on the bike, up hills and into a headwind, and I was sorted. No longer did I feel weak; strength was mine in abundance, and peace.
I had no problems to solve. All I had were opportunities, as the strain-value of the past day's woes vanished in significance. Then I was reminded of the strength we gain from God as we recover from our weaknesses.
Then I discovered, afresh, that not only does peace return with strength, but the ability to see right as well. Our perspective is fixed. The prayer above protects our strength. As strength provides peace and righteousness, both peace and righteousness support strength.
WHEN WEAKNESS FACILITATES STRENGTH
I am mindful of the paradox that avails itself upon us within our weakness. When we are weak we feel weak, but we may never be closer to strength. Weakness facilitates strength. It takes us down to an entirely unacceptable position and from there we have little choice, if we have a strong enough self-interest, but to claw our way out in our resilience.
Nietzsche coined the quote, "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger," and he highlighted a truth so compelling it works in every situation we apply it to.
The strange reality of weakness, which is something we don't see in our weakness, and we can only see by faith, is the emergent strength coming, when we can begin to see the truth again, is of a stronger proof than the previous strength. This new strength comes with a punch about it. This new strength compels us to compete. It gives us fresh reason to try. And by this strength we can see the importance of rallying for the purpose at hand.
There is strength available with immediacy out of weakness. Strength out of weakness is stronger than normal strength. It is a recovered strength. It is a strength that is formidable because it knows no reason for fear of failure. This strength, like our salvation, is mighty to save.
Strength out of weakness is stronger strength than normal because there is peace and right sight. This strength inspires a fresh confidence because we overcame the weakness. If weakness cannot overcome us, what can?
� 2012 S. J. Wickham.
Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner (BSc, FSIA, RSP[Australia]) and a qualified, unordained Christian minister (GradDipBib&Min). His blogs are at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com/ and http://inspiringbetterlife.blogspot.com/
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Moment to Moment - We Define Who We Are and How We Live Life
By Veronique C
We build our life moment to moment and the building blocks we use either defines "our excellence" or "defeats us" through negative mental attitudes... same moment... different mindset.
You and only you have an option to build upon defining moments through empowering mindsets... or not.
Its all in the moment.
The defining moment of choice.
Negative or positive what will you choose.
Negative: from a mind that clouds and deceives you into denial, disagreement, or refusal to be optimistic thereby perceiving situations from a defeatist attitude that builds upon moments that create disastrous results.
Positive: unconditional accountability from a mind that supports you in staying focused on "what you love" creating flow and a level of abundance each step of the way.
It's always your choice. It always within your power to choose to define who you are.
Defining moments of choosing positive over negative allows you to realize that you create your reality through the choices you make... in the moment... from whatever choice you have made... in that moment... you are enough and you have enough.
Realize moments change through choices... a "new moment" can redefine and build anew. Its up to you to choose... differently... if a different outcome is what you want.
Do you want ease, grace and abundance "to be the how" in which you build your life... or not? Your choice... and "only" your choice.
When we define EACH moment through unconditional accountability excellence ensues because when we choose to be unconditionally accountable for our choices... no judgement or blame... guilt or shame... just becoming aware by allowing what was, then choosing differently... this opens your intuition to automatically guide you to the most supportive and logical step to build the life of your dreams more easily, through grace and to receive abundantly. It is what it is!
"Moments" can last a second or feel like an eternity within the same breath. It always relates to what "your" focus is on... negative or positive. You can be real... without being negative. You can call a spade a spade... that's reality... yet when you hate the spade and blame it as the cause of your misery... for simply being what it is... that's when you trip yourself up and fall into the endless trap of placing responsibility outside of what you are in command of... your responses to life situations. You can choose.
When in joy, moments seem to pass quickly. When you are miserable time seems to stand still and hold you captive in misery of your own making. Remember, one moment can define all others and its always your choice on what your focus is on... the negative or the positive of the experience. Let's consider your strongest memories, positive or negative. Notice how your mind created the imagery that defined or establish the character of, gave the meaning to, marked out the boundary or limits of what you clearly defined by your recollection of a precise point in time and how that recollection effected your mood either negatively or positively. How you were effected was "your choice" of how you wanted to experience the moment. Its that simple. And within that simplicity you hold the power to change your life... moment to moment.
Every day we experience thousands of individual moments. Breathes we take every waking day, hour, minute, second, micro second that either secures our well being or defeats our goal of how we want to live life. In some cases, a single encounter can change a life forever. Think of your own defining moments.
One moment can changed us forever. These moments shape who we are and who we will become. We might allow ourselves to be defined by a word of encouragement from a colleague or, just as likely, from a word of that appeared to be discouragement... yet it pushed us to look more closely at our choices.
We might be defined by a moment of victory or failing to achieve what we said we wanted. We might also be defined by a moment when we listened to our intuition or one where we allowed judgment to cloud the issue and it was ultimately found faulty. How about the moment we commit ourselves to a goal or the moment we decide to go another direction, each can be "our" defining moment. WE CAN CHOOSE how we respond... negative or positive. We can be defined by the moment when we come to a resolution to make our family's life experience different than the one we grew up with or the moment we experience a positive illustration of "how to live... how to create" and decide to imitate it. We're maybe defined by the moment when someone believes in us or even the moment of "honest" self-reflection that causes us to positively change.
Yet, if we go back and forth, and we choose to operate through two different mindsets, negative / positive will build moments of full of confusion. Be aware. Be aware of our defining moments, they make us who we are. Our road to being all we can be, our unique excellence is paved with these moments - positive defining moments we create for others.
I remember asking a teacher I had deep admiration for what he thought it would take for me to soar to the next level. With insightful eyes and through his great wisdom he said; from what I see you should probably focus. Focus more on performing where you are currently through excellence instead of than worrying about your next move should be.
A defining moment for me and my forever journey toward being all I can be was through being excellent in my uniqueness. This defining moment taught me that excellence is achieved "in the moment", not in the future. Because all we have is the moment.
Define you moment to moment. Each moment creates a powerful ripple effect that can be felt miles away by everyone. Define someone's moment today!
Building Ushakable Internal Foundations since 1986. Veronique's intensive spiritual quest became expressed in her innovative course The Choice Is Mine. Her work teaches you how to look at life situations so you can know your full potential & act positively on that awareness, to live your dream life sooner rather than later. Take that first step in your professional growth & buy your course today.
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What are the benefits of forgiveness?
Forgiveness is a gift that you give yourself. Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because of it's immense benefits to the one who forgives.
You practive forgiveness for two reasons. One is to let others know that you no longer wish to be in a state of hostility with that person; and two, to free yourself from the self-defeating energy of resentment.
Forgiveness moves us out of the past. Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past. by grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new business. Forgiveness means letting go of the past.
Forgiveness sets us free and allows us to move on. Forgiveness makes us better people.
Keeping score of old scores and scars, getting even and one-upping, always makes you less than who you are.
Forgiveness strengthens our character. Strengthy of character means the ability to overcome resentment against others, to hide hurt feelings, and to forgive quickly.
Forgiveness makes us more loving. We cannot love unless we have accepted forgiveness. The deeper our experience of forgiveness is, the greater is our love.
Forgiveness improves our mental and physical health. People who replace anger, hostility, and hatred with forgiveness will have better health overall.
Forgiveness gives us peace of mind and increases our wisdom. A wise man will make haste to forgive, because he knows the true value of time, and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain.
Most of all, Forgiveness honors God.
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Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Positive thinking makes you feel good. Positivity doesn't just change the contents of your mind, trading bad thoughts for good ones. It also changes the boundaries of your mind. You benefit from positive thinking.
Although good feelings will always come and go as it is unnatural to think that you will feel good 100% of the time. Positivity does help to bring the best out in you and does help you learn to overcome negativity. Negativity can spike your blood pressure, but positivity can calm it. It almost acts like a reset button.
Positive thinking can make a huge difference in your life. With positivity, you see new possibilities, bounce back from setbacks, connect with others and you become the best person that you can possibly be. You even sleep better. I know this because I previously suffered from insomnia. Since I went on this journey of self help about two years ago, my whole life has improved. Sleep has been one that has improved dramatically.
Positive thinking presents an opportunity to step up to the next level of existence. It helps to broaden your mind and build your future. Yes, positive thinking can change your life.
Positive thinking and inspiration are crucial to your mental health so take time everyday to find inspiration
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Monday, June 25, 2012
Sadly, many people find it difficult to apologize. One of the reasons this might be true is because, when we do apologize, it's often accepted in a less than graceful manner. When this is the case, it takes some of the motivation away to continue apologizing, even when appropriate. This is a shame because most happy people will insist that both offering and receiving apologies are integral parts of growing emotionally.
When you offer an apology, you are opening the door to loving communication and a possible compromise, or perhaps even a solution. When apologies aren't accepted, bitterness and resentment often creep into the picture.
Granted, most of us will probably not be quite as visibly ungraceful in our acceptance of an apology. However, we might push people away in other, more subtle ways. We might, for instance, mumble under our breath, sigh, make a condescending comment such as "It's about time," or in some other way minimize or fail to fully accept the apology.
In most instances, an apology is an excellent opportunity to deepen our relationship or friendship. It's an ideal time to make a genuine effort to listen deeply and respectfully. It's a time to experience gratitude and empathy for the fact that the other person is willing to apologize, which is something not everyone is able to do. When we accept an apology, it makes it far more likely that our friend or partner will do the same for us when it's our turn to apologize.
The next time that someone offers an apology, see if you can really take it to heart. Soften your edges and open your heart.
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A good cry can make us feel better. Tears help us get rid of hormones that make us sad. Sometimes, we just need to cry. It's a part of the process of feeling sad and than getting past it.
We don't need to be embarrassed by our tears. They come for a reason, and we need to let them flow.
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Even small lies can get complicated quickly. You are better off being as honest as you can be.
"Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive"- Sir Walter Scott
It starts with just a little fib. But then the fib grows.
Free Yourself of Self-Sabotage and Self-DeceptionAuthor: Robin Oliver
Ever wonder why some people get what they want out of life and others seem to struggle? We were designed to get everything and anything out of life we could possibly desire. If you are not getting the results you want from life, you are most likely suffering from self-sabotage and self-deception.
Many of us have been mislead about how to get what we want in business and life and it has caused a lot of frustration. Many of us use excuses like the lack of money and time for not getting things done and those are never the reasons you don't get what you want.
There was a time when I used to say, "I don't have enough money, I don't have enough time". It was only self-deception and you might be doing the same thing to yourself right now.
Until we understand the cycle of self-deception, we will be unable to get consistent results. No matter how hard you're working or how much training you're getting, the results just won't come until you break the cycle of self-deception. Not understanding the cycle of self-deception creates unnecessary stress, fear, & anxiety. Once you get this you will discover the ultimate personal power to create whatever you want. You'll quit using excuses like lack of time and or money. You'll be able to get the results you want more consistently and when you don't, you'll have a clear understanding of why. The stress, anxiety and fear will become less when it comes to going after your dreams.
Ever hear that the "decision" comes first? The following quote by William Hutchinson Murry will explain why:
"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back-- Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."
This is an old school way of saying, the decision comes first. And once you make a decision in any direction, all kinds of stuff starts happening to support that decision. THE DECISION HAS TO COME FIRST.
Making the decision first often means putting your neck on the line in terms of time, money, etc. This means having to put your butt in gear to get the work done. You are 100% responsible for your results, whether you like it or not. It is never the fault of the economy, the government, society or parents, age or anything else. If you are having challenges in your business, the economy is a factor. But make no mistake about it; there are businesses that have been growing despite what is happening economically. The responsibility is always on each of us, which can be quite empowering. If you are not getting the results that you want, you have the power to change it.
You are constantly creating your reality with the universe. When you make a decision, you initiate the creative process from the inside out. It actually sends a ripple out into the universe. This is really an important thing to know. Because once you take action on that decision, the universe bends to support you.
You can break the cycle of self-deception by making a critical distinction between two four-letter words – Can't vs. Won't. 99% of the time, can't is a euphemism for won't.
Can't is really a victim word. It represents being irresponsible, being helpless, and being dishonest. Won't is an empowered word. It's responsible, it means your choice, it's also very truthful. Start bringing awareness to how often you use the word can't and moving forward, replace can't with won't. Or just be straight and say, "I don't really want to" or "I'm not willing to" or "I don't want to do what it takes". Because, if you did want it, you would make it happen. The Idea is to be honest with yourself and others.
No matter what you want to create, the decision always comes first. The proof won't show up, the money won't show up, the resources won't show up until you make the decision first. Take action now! "You are never given a dream without also being given the power to make it come true" –Richard Bach
Robin Oliver, professional marketer and online business owner, teaches small business owners and entrepreneurs how to take action with their marketing in order to get more results and more profits. To learn the proven strategies that will sky-rocket your internet business, visit: http://www.PassagewayToFreedom.biz.
I found this below article on goal setting while searching for my daily inspiration. I enjoyed reading it so just I would share
The real value of setting goalsAuthor: Karen Skehel
What is the real value of setting goals?
I believe 100% in the power of setting goals to bring about the results you want to achieve in your life. My beliefs have been reinforced by seeing goals materialise in my clients' lives, my family's life as well as in my own life. The beauty of setting goals is that you are never too old or too young to start the process and benefit from the outcome.
Whilst I do use coaching within my own family with caution, I have a couple of stories from my own family which are constant reminders to me of the power of goal setting. My left handed, 11 year old, son who had struggled with hand writing speed through out his schooling, set a goal to "More than double my hand writing speed". With the goal very firmly in mind, he automatically became motivated to take a "d-i-y" hand writing programme. He worked on the programme himself with little in the way of reminders from me. His handwriting speed accelerated, and the goal was achieved.
For 67 years, or as long as she could use a crayon, my son's grandmother, my mother enjoyed art as a hobby. She had reached a point where she wasn't getting very much from her art. I took her through a goal setting session around her art and she established what she wanted to do: Become an Become an Artist of Excellence. She herself realised she was not spending enough time on her art, and became highly motivated and highly focused. At the age of 68, she applied and was accepted to do a BA Hons Degreee Course , and has since won prizes for her art. In both cases, it was literally the setting of their own goals which led to these outcomes.
Goals can be used in the moment to dramatically change the outcome. Today I was playing a one set tennis match. I wasn't playing well, and found myself down 5-2 and 40 love down. Unexpectedly I became inspired by the idea of winning from such a place. "Winning from 5-2, and 40 love down" became the goal of the moment, which really excited me. I shared my goal with my opponent. My game changed beyond recognition.. I became very focused, and determined whilst at the same time very relaxed. I started to enjoy the match. Instead of loosing many games to love, I was winning games to love. I finally went on to win 7-6.
Jon Covey tells his readers to "start with the end in mind" – and when we set a goal we are doing just that.
What is the purpose of setting goals?
So many people go through their lives like rudder-less ships – without clear direction, and are literally subject to storms and winds in the sea of life. Lack of direction can often lead to feelings of stress and anxiety, poor concentration levels, lack of confidence, and living life from a place of being reactive rather than proactive. Not only that, but people without goals often have little determination, patience or tenacity.
When you set and achieve a goal, you have an opportunity to pat yourself on the back. Even if you don't achieve exactly what you set out to do, there are likely to be numerous achievements and learnings along the way that you can acknowledge yourself for. All this helps build self esteem.
For those who are serious about sport, who are running a business or have a senior role within a company, setting goals is an essential ingredient to success. In spite of this not everyone does it. It may take a conversation with a coach, or business advisor to get them thinking along these lines.
Setting goals is not just for sport or work, everyone can benefit from a well-worded goal. Whether you seek a new partner, a better relationship with your existing one, a new job, a new house, more energy, more abundance, improved health, a stress-free life, or something else, the right goal for you, can make all the difference.
How do you set goals?
Setting goals is a very easy process to do at its simplest level. I spend quite some time designing personalized goals with my clients. I find that it is most effective for people to focus on the top areas of their lives – perhaps their business (if that is appropriate) as well as one or two other areas. Choosing the top areas is an important part of the process. I find clients are most motivated if they are working on the areas of their lives which are going to make the greatest difference to them. It is important to bear in mind too, that what may be important today, but not be so key in a few months time. If you find yourself neglecting an area that you have designated top, one reason may be that it is not now so important. If you find this happening, a great tip is to check in with yourself by asking your self how important it is to have this thing. Answer with a score out of 10 – where 10 is very important and 0 is not important.
There is a balance to be achieved between working on all areas that need attention – and just working on one area. Focusing on multiple areas can be distracting leading to little being achieved. Focusing on one area alone, also has its downsides. Not only can it impact negatively on your work/life balance, but an over-focus can lead to what I call "attachment to the outcome".
You may have experienced a situation where you wanted something so much that it became crucial that you had that "thing" in your life. It could be the promotion, the new job, the new house, or the new partner. When you find yourself attached to a particular result, you may find that it often gets in the way of your ideal result coming about. One way of "letting go" of your attachment is to spread your focus by having one or two other key goals.
Once you have your top two or three areas, the next step is to set a goal that is going to really inspire you in each of these areas. Defining an inspiring goal is a challenging exercise to do alone. A coach who is experienced in working with clients to define really inspiring goals can really help with this process. One of my clients, a Managing Director of a Design Agency, wanted to work on his business. He wanted to realize its potential, become more financially successful, move forward, and be busy. This led to a goal which was really inspiring for him "My business buzzes to the tune of £50K profit per month". This was particularly challenging goal because the business had made a loss for over 9 months. Five months into the coaching and the business is on an upward trend – last month profits were just under £50K – and we still have a month to go with the coaching.
A goal that is hugely inspiring for a client has an energy of its own. I equate it to what happens when a surfer rides a powerful wave. Once on the big wave, all a surfer needs to do is focus and balance and he will be carried to the shore – without the need to do much more. (Of course, if he wants to reach the road from the shore, he will need to take some action).
One of my clients is a singer. Her long term goal is "My first record deal published". Whilst it is hugely inspiring for her, she wanted a goal for the short term. In her case it is to "Perform at least 5 concerts with my own material". At the time she set this goal, she hadn't performed any concerts with her own material. Between the time she set this goal and our next meeting, two weeks later, she left the country to be with her sister, who had just had a baby. She wasn't putting any time into getting her concerts. Yet in the meantime, the goal was working for her. "Out of the blue" she received two invitations to perform concerts with her own material.
Sometimes I work with clients who have a gap in a certain area of their lives, but are resistant to setting a goal in that area. Often they are in the place where they don't want to take action on something, in case they don't get what they want. This can be in situations where they have tried many things without success. I have encouraged them to set a goal, with the explicit instruction that they take no action. .
What makes a powerful goal?
Like making a cake, there are several ingredients. With a cake, I would say flour is most essential, and with goal setting, it is inspiration that, for me, is most essential. I take great trouble with my clients to ensure that together we define a goal that scores top marks for inspiration. A goal to loose weight became "Look fabulous in my black PVC catsuit" for a female client and "Lean, mean, well oiled machine" for a male client.
Given that we are working in a coaching alliance, it is when I am as inspired by a goal as my client is, that the magic really starts to fly.
For the second most important ingredient, I rate succinctness. A really powerful goal can also double up as a mantra. It is easy to repeat as often as possible and it is easy to remember. Finding a new job can become "Love what I do" and recovering from a difficult patch can become "Sparky, witty Jonny is back"!.
I also rate challenging as an important ingredient- alongside inspiration. Getting the level of challenge right is key to the success of the goal. Some clients are truly inspired by challenge – particular if challenge is amongst their core values. Whereas for others, too much challenge can be counterproductive. A goal that is too challenging can defer a client from taking action. If a client is determined to stay in the "this will never happen place" then some adjustments are needed: either to their perspective or to the goal. I come from the place where everything thing is possible – and encourage my clients to move into that place. Technology has shown us that things that weren't possible in the past are now today, and most people have had experiences where they weren't initially able to do something, have thought that they never would and have since learnt.
A challenging goal doesn't necessarily make it difficult to achieve. An example from my own life. I am naturally someone with an extremely busy mind. In the past, left to its own devices, my mind would mull over both concerns and projects for hours on end – during the day and often at night too. It was draining. I wanted to be able to turn my mind off – whilst still retaining my innate ability to be creative. This led to a goal which was hugely inspiring for me "Be the Zen Master of my on/off switch". The goal started to take on an energy of its own. Coincendentally, I signed up for a spiritual training – which encouraged meditation daily. Meditation was something I had practiced for a number of years in the past. I had stopped simply because I wasn't at that time getting results with it.
This time things were different. Almost from the moment I started to meditate again, I found that my mind became quiet. I was the "Zen master of my on/off switch". A hugely challenging goal was achieved with the minimum of effort.
Classical goal setting will encourage you to go for something realistic within a specific time frame. If making a goal realistic means that some of the inspiration is lost – then go for the inspiration is what I say. I recently started with a client at the stage of transition from full time employment to running his own business. The goal that truly inspires him is "Respected in my outstanding £5 million business". From a standing start, this goal could be considered to be unrealistic within the 6 months of our initial contract. So he has has a signpost goal around his business plan being written and approved by the bank. This gives him a short term focus, whilst the longer term goal is the one that truly excites, inspires and motivates him.
In most cases, it makes sense to frame goals in the positive. That said, there are times when a goal which appears to be expressed in the negative, is more motivating to a client than the other way round. I have had a number of clients who came to me with health challenges. One had pain from a hernia and had used drugs to control the symptoms for 7 years. Prior to our setting a goal, she found that no drugs meant intolerable pain levels. She could have set a positive goal such as "100% healthy" but instead chose "Pain and Drug Free" for her goal. These were the words that did it for her. Within one session, she had given up her drugs this time without pain – and has maintained her drug and pain free state ever since.
Classical goal setting will encourage you to go for goals that are measureable. I would 100% agree with that. Not only is a measure motivational, but both yourself and your coach will know how close or how far you are from achieving the goal, at any point in time. With business and sports goals, it is fairly easy to incorporate a measure. A desire to grow and sustain a business became "My sustainable £30K per month Business Building Business" for one of my clients.
Which brings me to what happens if you don't achieve the goal that you originally set. This may be because you changed your mind. What you set out to achieve initially, no longer holds the same interest for you. For the more spiritually minded, it can be useful to include a caveat – to your goal setting, particularly when you find yourself hugely attached to the outcome. This can take the form of a simple sentence which can be added to a goal e.g. "Achieve my goal ….or whatever the grand design has in store for me".
Often, it is only a matter of time until the goal you set becomes yours. There is likely to be many learnings and achievements on your path from the moment you set your goals. I recommend that you keep a note of your learnings and achievements– since, in my experience, human beings are particularly good at forgetting, as well as dismissing their achievements. However valuable goals setting is, and whatever the outcome, I find it empowering to remember that "Life is a journey, not a destination". (Who was it that said that?!)
Karen Skehel is a holistic business coach who helps people achieve their goals in the most important areas of their lives: work, relationships and health coaching are most in demand. She has coached in front of 1 and ½ million people on ITV's most popular daytime programme and has also appeared on ITV2. She wrote for Natural Health Magazine over a 4 year period– answering readers' life dilemmas. Her coaching has been reviewed and rated by Time Out magazine.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Do you ever stop to think for a moment how it feels when someone is demanding towards you? What's it like when they are impatient, bossy and overcritical? It doesn't make you feel good, does it?
Often people resist and resent people who are too demanding. The person on the receiving end of this treatment will often ask themselves "What right does this person have to treat me this way"? That is an excellent question.
Most people seem to feel that being demanding is a distasteful human quality. People who are too demanding are often seen as difficult, selfish and judgemental. Demanding people are just as bad as negative people. People don't truly like to be around people with these traits. It makes them difficult to love. When you are around a demanding person, you always are made to feel whether you are measuring up. Who wants to be around people whom make them feel like they have to consistently walk on eggshells? YUCK!
We often associate a demanding personality with someone who is loud and bossy. Demanding people aren't always this way though. Sometimes, they are quiet and sulky. I am sure you have heard the old cliche "watch out for the quiet ones" :-). Other times they are "passive aggressive," meaning they will attempt to avoid appearing demanding but their aggression will come out in subtle ways when their demands aren't being met.
Keep in mind that being around a demanding person is very stressful and no fun at all. It might be a good idea to consider the ways that you might be acting a little demanding. If and when you identify what they are, make a gentle effort to back off. In all likelihood, you will be rewarded with people that honestly want to be around you and people who you can truly have fun with.
Life is about living Enjoy
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Inspiration in life makes you a happier person :-)
How often do you say the words "I'm sorry"? Ask yourself that question.
Some people never seem to apologize even when it's obvious that they are the ones in the wrong. This doesn't mean that they are bad people. It's a fact, people don't like to admit when they are wrong. We are all wrong at times. We all make mistakes. To err is human, that's a fact.
I have been trying to understand why saying sorry is so hard for some. Is it too much pride, a hardened ego, a lack of reflection, an inability to see oneself as part or all of a problem, or a combination of these things. Whatever the reason, I do know that it's a mistake. Saying sorry when appropriate is an extremely healing and nurturing thing to do. It is not to be seen as a sign of weakness. It's actually a sign of strength and it's very nurturing to your soul. It clears the air and opens the door to forgiveness and a fresh start. It brings three things into your own life- trust, humility and integrity. These are three of the most beautiful qualities that a person can have.
Whether it's over major things or everyday minor things, saying sorry will usually work to your advantage. Learning to say those words and means them will help improve your life and your image of yourself
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Saturday, June 23, 2012
Do you ever feel underappreciated, as if nobody understands how hard you work and how much you try. I always say to praise often and tell people that you appreciate them. There are times, however, when nobody seems to be applying that advice back towards us, when nobody seems to be appreciating us.
At times like these, it's important to stop what you are doing and pat yourself on the back. Take a few moments to reflect on what you've been doing and on the nature of your intentions and actions. Mentally review your own accomplishments.
As simple as this sounds, it really helps. I've done this many times, and have found that it puts things in perspective. Sometimes it reminds me how busy I have become, which gives me compassion for everyone else who is busy too. It helps me recognize why people sometimes forget or are unable to be appreciative- they are absorbed in their own work and their own lives.
Sometimes we get going so fast that we forget to pause and reflect. When we take a moment, however, we can regain our perspective and realize that we are making a valuable contribution to ourselves, our families, the people we work etc. Recognizing your contribution from within yourself is actually more powerful and satisfying than hearing it from others. In fact, in order to feel good about yourself and your efforts, you must be able to compliment yourself and recognize your own self worth.
Everyone loves to be patted on the back by others. It feels good. However, when it's not happening, don't let it get you down or negatively affect your attitude. Praise from others is never a certainty, and you should never make it a condition of your own happiness. Praise yourself, pat yourself on the back- It's OK!!!! If you are making life a little better for even one person, if you are doing a good job, say so. You deserve to be recognized and it's a huge self esteem booster.
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A day without laughter and inspiration is a day wasted :-)
Friday, June 22, 2012
"True friendship consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and value".- Ben Johnson
We like to be the life of the party, to have a calendar filled with social events, to have many friends clamoring for our attention. We like to feel wanted, and the more people who seem to like us, the better.
Still, we recognize who our true friends are and we don't have many of these. They are the friends who don't wait to ask what they can do when we need help. They are the friends who tell us the things that we don't want to hear but need to hear anyhow. They are the friends who know us- in both our good and bad moments- and love us for who we are.
Be a true friend also :-)
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Thursday, June 21, 2012
Why should you Live Inspired? - Live Life InspiredAuthor: Brittany A. Bentham
Inspired means activated, encouraged, energized, excited, exhilarated, influenced, inspirited, and motivated. Living inspired is when you bring intention to action. Aligning your dreams with reality will put you in position to live an abundant life.
No one can deny the power of the mind. It sets the foundation and framework for action. Time and energy are allocated based on how the mind organizes priorities and establishes limits. Therefore, it is imperative that you believe in your power to live out your passions.
Typically, the limits of life are self-imposed. Many individuals serve as their own barriers to success. Self-saboteurs do not feel worthy of good fortune and are usually threatened by change. Unfortunately, these individuals may not acknowledge how closely related their negative mindset coordinates with their physical action. The only way to move forward is to direct effort towards actually living, as opposed to taking refuge in negativity.
We live in a society focused on progress. People tend to live according to society's demands and lose sight of personal goals. Why is it that people do not invest in themselves as they do for an employer? Why is it that people spend their lives devoted to something that brings little satisfaction and more frustration? Why is it that people design their lives according to others expectations? Why is it that people focus on money first and joy later? Why is it that society yearns us to dream, but requires our dream to fall within what society deems to be realistic?
Do not allow your life to be confined; live the life you have defined. Make a living in the best way you see fit, but be sure to allocate time and energy to invest in your passions. Regardless of circumstance, you always have a choice to live inspired or to live obligated. At the heart of every problem lies a disconnect between personal truths, actions and goals. Encourage yourself to live a life based on inspiration to ultimately satisfy your inherit need to bridge these gaps to live a fulfilling life.
Live Life Inspired!
Brittany A. Bentham is a Certified Professional Coach. Her life coaching certification is from Fowler Wainwright International. She has a B.A. in Public Relations and Philosophy from Elon University. Her M.A. in Organizational Psychology is in progress from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology.
She created Live Life Inspired because she wanted to help individuals live more fulfilling lives. For many, life is a list of obligations. People become lost in the clutter of their lives because they are unable to identify what truly inspires them. Of course, we all need to make a living and it may require us to invest time in areas outside of our passions. Fortunately, everyone has a choice to live inspired or to live obligated.
Living inspired is living a life worth living. When you prioritize and manage your obligations, you are better able to keep sight of what truly matters to you. Everyone can live a life based on inspiration. She dedicates her time showing individuals how to remodel their lives based on their passions.
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