Monday, July 12, 2010

Looking for love in all the wrong places

Suppose you fall in love with someone outside of your marriage. I am helping a friend through this right now. She is married with 2 children. She has been with her husband for 10 years (She was 20, he 35) when they met. Her children are 7 and 3. She is 30, he 45 now
She had advanced tremendously in her career and as she has grown both emotionally and financially, he has become settled and lazier. She is a mortgage loan officer and had an affair with the owner of her previous company. This has been going on for 6 months (the affair was exposed and her husband does know) He is angry but is so in love with her that he wont leave
Her life is like one big epidode of sex in the city right now.
and the bad part is that I don't think she truly deep inside wants to end her marriage because there is an insecurity there (although, she is very attractive, witty, smart and very successful) She still has insecurities. When she confided that in me, I was a bit surprised because on the outside, she alludes confidence and security.
I think she wants her cake and wants to eat it too. She wants her husband and kids at home but she wants the boyfriend and the excitement also.
She has outgrown her marriage. She feels so guilty inside

God made us all with erotic desires. It is a reality of life. People have affairs everyday. Is it right, Is it moral? We all know the answer is no but does it happen? of course, it does

I think she knows that even if she ended the affair, her marriage could never go back to the way it was. The trust wouldn't be there. Also, if it wasn't this guy that she had an affair with, it probably would have been someone else

Why? not because she is a tramp (she definately isn't) but she was unhappy, there was a huge void

The actions of both her and her lover broke up 2 marriages (whereas children are involved on both sides) has caused alot of damage but yet him and her are still drawn to each other and can't stay away from each other.

I have been doing alot of reading to try and help her (as that is me, I love to help others find solutions to their problems) so I read all about healthy alternatives and ways she could have changed her marriage but than in other books, I read people don't really change unless they want to. So even if she changed, her husband would want to change to.

I think that females that settle down too young have too much of unlived life (which could cause bad decisions to be made)

It is so easy to judge people that have affairs but unless you were in their situation and walked in their shoes, you probably shouldn't judge

There is no perfect person

Has anyone had a similar experience to the one I shared?

Also, I am going to be honest with you here! If you found this blog because you did a search within a search engine for looking for love in all the wrong places, you are in the wrong blog. You should be visiting my relationship blog reading about the stages of a relationship
Here is the link if you wish to read a little more :-)

Of if you just want to laugh, check out my funny facebook status update blog
funniest facebook statuses
Enjoy

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